Lent

Ok,
so like lent starts tomorrow and aside from beans and deep fried fish, its a real hassle making or buying anything. A few weks ago I saw a infommercial for a product where you put boiling water in a tube and it cooks pasta and vegies, I looked into it and saw that a wrap is applied so the tube becomes a thermus.

Sounds bogus to me
anyone out there try it?

Trifecta complete

Don Knotts 81
Darin Mcgavin 83
Dennis Weaver 81

Three deaths, names start with D, Approz same age

WATFO

hovering at 284, I saw a story last night "The 750 pound man"
scary, I still don't know how I got so big, it can't be all sodas
and burgers

or can it?

I hate where I am, I hate being behind, I hate my duties
guess I'm just hateful.

my teenae niece told me that I should quit if I'm not happy
It is that simple but I have no where to go and 20 k in B to tie me down

sob

Farewell to Barney

Just heard that Don Knotts died
I've watched The Andy Griffin Show countless times, and I still laugh
The Shakest Gun in the west is one of my favorite movies from childhood
Its kind of weird seeing the people that entained me as a kid/young man get old

Why is President Bush's Adminstration turning into "24"

OK I've been honest that I think Bush is a Idiot or clueless and his gang of Idiots who want to make their Christian mark on the world and make a billion dollars. But for Cheney to shoot a guy wait a couple of days and act like like he is as sincere as a collection agency is just about the worst thing I've seen. Then news that the UAE is taking over the ports, and Bush says it is ok has crossed the line.

Its like season 4 of "24", they can't be that stupid

Does Bush realize he was taken advantage of and he is delibertly trying to screw up so they will leave him alone?

Bill O'Reilly is an ass

O'reilly head is so far up the ass of the Republican party
he has a permanent tan
Just had to write this before I slept

Bears, gF, 24, junk food, cartoons

February 7th 7:30 pm

OK
So I gave my Valentine bear to by spouse/girlfriend (never getting married but she’ll kill me if I stray and she is actually certifiable, and fat men can’t be choosy but I started after her when we were 17 and didn’t get her until she joined me and got fat, she was always loony then certifiable)

Saw 24 and wasn’t disappointed but dismayed, I always have problems with the time line of things and these episodes help slow things down, but I wish they would show two episodes together to tie in the hours better

But,
Logan had Cummings killed to cover up what happened to Palmer
Logan is just pacifying his wife, it will come back to bite him
I find it hard to believe that the machinist could cut 20 canisters in time allotted, but that is his job and it didn’t appear to be all that precise
Heard someone say the guy wanted the girl because a chip is in her, plausible he can get a girl anywhere and he had a country in mind, why is the girl vital?

Anyway, after 24 too the old lady home picked up some diet soda and saw that there was candy bars 25 cents a piece, Jerry in the old Café (see a previous post) sold them for 80 cents. Pigged out and saw a Simpson episode I hadn’t seen before (hard to believe) where Bart started pigging out and gained a bunch of weight and went to Fat boot camp
I ate the rest of the candies anyway

S.park was killer wicked funny

Now it is after hours and due to shortages I have to stay late, extra money is good but will I pay bills, get stuff (x/m radio), and buy booze. I don’t know but I am tired and I should come in early tomorrow

Have not heard from GF all day, played joke this morning leaving msg that her bear was recalled, she called to see if it was true and hung up. Tomorrow is $$ day for her will she be bad or is she bad on credit
More later

Super snoozer

Bizzare weekend

Yesterday a old friend and I went to a sports talk show Superbowl party, there were 40 TV's there (it doubles for off track beting during normal times). but the TV's wern't in sync. each TV was a 1/2 sec to a sec off so ther was this weird echo and the picture on the screen made it seem like I took acid before the game.

Game sucked maybe it as the distortion but the refs looked high, the pre and half time shows looked like it was presented by AARP, and the ad agencies are trying to hard.

DIdn't drink because I was too bored and I had to work, its not a good sign when you r boss asked how youa re feeling in the morning and you tewll them you didn't drink and a shocked look of surprise comes over them like the kid in home alone.

more later

The Idiot has landed

I don't like to give away my location, but the Idiot has selected this region of the country to visit. I wish I had paid more attention because I would have liked to take off to film af-one landing or taking off, for no other reason than to say I had and inter cut the plant taking of with stock footage of flood victims for some kind of 10 minute vanity film festival

I went to the store to buy some veggies and I was struck by how I don't know how to eat, I can cook up some tomatoes, onions and potatoes. But other than adding squash, I don't know what to do, I don't know how this happened. How do I train my brain to accept dark green materials as food.

As a kid I remember eating spinach and beans on Friday's (before the no meat was cancelled) but the beans were fresh and the spinach was canned.

aside from tofu what do vegetarians eat?
anyone out there know?
Anyone?

Seattle 31 Pittsburg 28

The Idiot speaks tomorrow

Tomorrow the collective stupidity of the nation will be revealed on one speech
My ears are clogged again
I am pushing closer to 300
I hate my Job
I am waiting for the tax return
when I have time later I will tell the parable of the coach in Personel Best
My Niece is working in Disneyworld, Neat

Merry Christmas From the Comission for the Blind

Woody
Below is an E-mail I received this morning, Puzzled I made inquiries


From: Tanner, Diana, XXX Sent Thu 12/15/2005
11:16 AM
To: XXX-XXXX employees

CC:

Subject: Items from Cafeteria

At the request of Deputy Secretary XXXXXXX Hill . . .

If you removed any items from the 1st floor cafeteria, please return all items to the 4th floor conference room (south half) before 2:00 pm TODAY.


We have a café the by State Statute has to be run by the State Commission for the Blind, and the management is always changing because it is very hard to make money because it is cheaper to go to a fast food restaurant, and frankly vision impaired people don’t cook very well and people they hire tend to steal from them. Subcontractors have been caught using food beyond the expiration date to stretch a buck. So the Café has been closed for a couple of months.

Last week a new café was set to open and the Manager (Jerry) gave out hot chocolate for free and begged people to eat at his café so he can be a productive person (it was sad, real sad). So his café opened Monday and as usual the food was so-so and overpriced but he had a decent turnout.

This morning the director for the State commission for the blind came in and had it out with Jerry telling him that there were too many complaints and he was out, the director went upstairs to formally disclose the info to the Department Secretary. Jerry gets pissed and tells everyone to help them selves to what ever they want, (remember he opened Monday) so a lot of people (I didn’t hear until it was too late) did just that. Emptied the shelves of candy, chips, cokes, cookies, sandwiches, and anything cooked.

The director came down got real pissed and started forcing the staff out the door, Jerry yelled at his mom to get the cash and the director physically blocked Jerry’s mom from doing so. Meanwhile the security guards came down to help (aged 70 and 68) the guards were fighting with a blind guy and his mom keeping them from the register and a few other people forced them out the building.

Shades of the Candy Machine incident in 1976

Hope you are having a nice Holiday season

summer over

October 11, 2005

To say I have been gone a while would be a sever under statement. My keyboard appears to have some type of electrical problem. Could be a loose wire, {Could be}, Maybe it needs to be cleaned, {it does}

But a new one is like 20 bucks, but I have to wait 3 weeks. If I lift it up and bank on it sort of works but that is too much of a hassle

I am broke and will achieve new heights in a month after I take a trip with my parental units. I am still fat (280) tired, hate my job {leave}

But a good summer
Megadeth
Ozzfest
And Green Day-which was one of the fun-est, spiritual concerts in a very long time
Never sat down
People were dancing, singing, grooving to the tunes
If you were a dude from 6-60 you were covered
I saw a few dads showing their kids how to make the heavy metal sign, it was cute and gratifying to see little fingers try to make the sign

It was
Tooooo cooool for school

OZZFEST

Ozzfest was awesome
the whole day was incredible
got 450 pictures, got back stage with the PILARS package
took 2 hours to get home
met the wicked Wisdom band

Got my tickets and my ears clogged

Ok so like I didn't want a hole burned in my eardrum and a drain put in so I had a hearing test and due to years of head banging it would not help much so I have to pop my ears 7-8 times a day which is a drag but I got my ozzy tickets so I am a happy but fat man

sorry I havent written

Hey folks
ok so no one reads this but I have tried to be creative but the well is dry. Tomorrow I have a CT scan to determine why I hear fluid inside my head but the ear canals are dry

thanks for reading

1st day of the 2nt 4 years of the idiot

January 12, 2005
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. -Pete Seeger
I am seeking Serendipity in any form, last night I rolled change, and I have about 40 bucks, My niece turns 18 in 3 ½ weeks and I wanted to give her 100 dollars, looks like I may make it even thought I have car payments on the neigh horizon. (Who talks like that now a days)

GF? got a new TV and neither her nor her dad could figure out the antenna, (it needed a coaxial connection) GF? got real manic and was flipping out and her dad went out and bought a new antenna and the TV works and everyone is happy. Especially me cause I got paid what GF? owed me.

January 13, 2005
GF? blew me off yesterday and wanted the 20 bucks her dad gave me for food, so I responded by chasing the $7 high, I woke up congested, and I may have inadvertently screwed a coworker.
Today's sentence of the day
I got a tendentious version of events on the west coast from my cousin concerning the new living arrangements.
GF? has called at 11:15 am and dropped the line she is going out shopping, my voice is raspy and I told her that I will be too sick to see her tonight, I am growing tired of her ups and downs and now that she has a TV I am looking for an exit strategy, spoke to Bill last night and I am sure I annoyed him because of the $7 high but he has no camcorder so it looks like I will not make the "Biggest Loser"
I may take GF? to Wal-Mart because she is tired and is hungry, I told her that I don't feel well and I will take her but that is about it. However she called just before 5:00 and said she doesn't want to go
DG is unhappy with his pay and is trying to negotiate a 15% but won't do the hard work and will settle for 10%.
Maybe I'm paranoid but I saw Sincty in NS1's office talking to NS1 and KNS.

January 14, 2005
Last night I called GF? during CSI and she acted like her dog died and kept calling with how depressed she is, she blew he 20 bucks on junk and was crying about how hungry she was. When the story about Michael Jackson came on she called every commercial break. MJ is a sick freak and should be gangbanged for the rest of his life.
Meeting with Sincty she raised her voice I called her on it and as usual she got her way, this year changes must be made but I have to withdraw from society, so to speak. I can't let my anger divide me. I get the same pay no matter what. Thank god for 3 day weekend, must avoid negative thoughts, negative thoughts make negative people

January 18, 2005

Took Niece II to see White Noise yesterday, she was kind of quiet, but I managed to make her laugh, its weird to see how much they have grown.
Quote of the day
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Word of the day
Importune 1: to press or urge with troublesome persistence *2: annoy, trouble 3: to beg, urge, or solicit persistently or troublesomely
Hmmm as in People at work importune on a consistent basis so they can impose their will on weak-minded individuals.
I am so tired, the back of my knees hurt, I must do the exorcises, I even mailed out my first pmt on the car

January 21, 2005

Worked out
1/4 hour bike 3.01 miles
swam 15 minutes
saw some very hot girls driving all the men crazy, wish I had my glasses on to see if they were jailbait (they probably were)
272 soaking wet
mow I can’t sleep



"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary
Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety
Ben Franklin

10 days and 272 lbs

January 9, 2005

Its 8:19 and it is the end of another weekend. The peoples choice awards are on opposite 24 (how many bad days can this guy take?) Normally I would watch 24 but they snuck in two shows tonight and I want to see if Michael Moore wins, also the following has happened

A relative passed away last week and his funeral was up north in the mountains, my new car was having problems and it got fixed by my sister wanted to drive and we had a long talk which reminded me what I have been missing, my younger niece is having problems and my sister asked me to get more involved in her life as her dad is having major problems,

I weigh 272, hate my job and my chosen is having unusual problems which means that she is probably using or floundering. I of course am still drinking and eating and the new car payments will necessitate a change in lifestyle.

January 10, 2004
Don't let the fear of striking out hold you back.

-Babe Ruth
Another day in paradise got E-mail from a doughty Osta who is preparing to leave for Kuwait. He sent some fun pictures of him going through a gas chamber. Looks like fun.
Somehow someone hacked my password from AOL had I probably have a virus that takes my password and messes up everything and sends out IM to whomever and they are apparently dirty.
Girl has been calling and I am becoming ambivalent about the whole thing. I drank a lot after Tio Ramon's funeral and I kind of blew her off Sunday but I tried to make amends and Girl wanted to punish me but I don't really care as I had a lot of stuff to do. I enjoyed being with Sister, we had a nice talk and She recommended I get more involved in Amber's goings on. She is pretty trenchant and I am concerned about her (Amber). My sister's husband celebrated his job interview by using he knows he will be drug tested but doesn't think it will hurt his chances.
I continue to fall behind, Mary is being set upon by STO and DFA and it is being passed along to me, the recon should not be that hard but easy items to spot are getting through and I am frustrated because I fell behind due to my computer falling apart and the use it or lose it policy. I can't take the stress and it is partially due to my health, Girl, pain, and I hate my job, I have car payments and I don't think I am getting any help here at work, my AOL account has been compromised and it will probably cost me money to keep it going, a new computer or software.
Girl has fallen again, I sometimes wish that I would have a stroke or something that would keep me laid up for 2-3 months, I could rest get my head together. Something. If only Mr. lotto would come to my rescue, a little something so I could pay off everything and take a year off to get my head together. It would be worth it.
The day is almost over and I finally helped my coworker finish her recon, it was driving me nuts but I looked at a few things and was able to help break the code.
Two episodes of 24, tonight cool !!

where did the time go

Howdy
this is a quick update and I will try to finish later
my truck has died, it threw a rod
I am trying to get rid of it
I even posted it on the charity website daring anyone to come get it
no one has responded

Can anyone fix my computer

December 14, 2004

It has been some time since I’ve has any kind of cognitive thought. I don’t have to write letters to a friend in Jail. While I’m glad they’re out the level of frustration has risen to the nth degree. Someone who has been confined for any length of time has a huge adjustment period to being on e outside. I can’t imagine what it would be like, but when I went to boarding school I had a rough time on summer break being used to total freedom, no big brother watching and no responsibilities ( I was 15 when I left there)

My computer at work still operated like it is a 286. People come and fix it and they say everything is fine but I will have to find all the old software back everything up and ask for a new computer. Problem is it will have to have a modem and I don’t thik that anyone kept the software for the modem in the work computer. My home computer is junk as well but it is manageable, just the internet stuff is a hassle and it is 5 yrs old but a new one will be 1500 ( one that I like ) and maybe if I finally make the decision to go lean I can pay off bills and get a new one that I will like. But I may have to go to DSL but it is an expense I don’t want to think about.

I weighed 263 this morning, I haven’t done the streaching to strength my knees (ever) and my hearing in my left ear is getting worse. I think it is a blockage but I can’t hear whispering and people talk so much trash or are afraid that someone will hear what they say, that they talk low and I can’t hear every thing they say.

Plan for this week
Write and mail Cards
Finish x-mas shopping
Hit gym at least 3 times (tough)
Make some kind of peace with Gail
Get sleep
Make own food
Streach
Maybe yoga?
Maybe not

Quite a list but it is feasible, tonight will be the test. Can I live off the sandwich from Subway and parlay that into low food intake and gym after I finish with GIRL? Or should I wait and start the cards that are bound out of town? GIRL called a whole bunch of times and I had to be very abrupt with her

Absolutely the last letter, why did your dad seeme

Last letter,
Tonight is 11/22/2004

I spoke with your dad
1. Above is a picture of your bus pass and keys
2. Your dad will have your food stamp card
3. I did not want any money for you
4. I will buy you something to eat and if necessary leave you with 5 bucks
5. I will pick you up and I will be waiting for your call
6. I am not involved with anything to do with your money, food stamp card
7. I am hopeful you will not do anything to make me stay away
8. I am hopeful I will not do anything to upset you
9. I pray you will make it
10. I will help

Just got two letters from you
I don’t buy your reason for hanging up on me but I accept your apology
I hope you realize you hung up on me I day after John’s anniversary
Next letter

I have an Uncle Donald, you know about him, he used to complain that people treaded him like a kid, his brain is mush and he will be 60 soon, he has lived in my grandma’s garage for as ling as I can remember. My dad is worried about what will happen to him when grandma dies or Grandpa dies what will happen to his money, how long it will last, how he will make it.

I see that possibility for you, and I see it as a real possibility. Living at cder lodge is a step above living in a garage; I can’t be a party to that. After a very long time in jail and blowing two chances the 1st day, how can I believe this time will be different? I want to believe you, but I just don’t know

I don’t want to provoke you I want to be helpful. I do not want to hear any bitching about money or I will just drop you off after getting you something to eat. You have plenty of food and drink in your apartment.

I pray for you
I really do miss you
I will help out as much as I feel safe doing
Good luck

11 18 2004 Hopefully the last letter to you in Jail

November 18, 2004

This will probably be my last letter, you are getting out soon and very frankly it is getting had to keep writing you every day and taking you phone calls which are very expensive and it is clear that you don’t appreciate my efforts and are taking for granted. I sent you extra envelopes so you could write pathways and also the place where you are arranging you medical help and meds. Advance notice coordinated with your dad’s efforts could help you hit the ground running. Previous attempts by yourself to take care of things when you get out have resulted in, not one but two failures in which both cases you failed the first or second day. That is why I put distance from you and I felt bad for you and I relented and let you back into my life and feelings. I see now that was a mistake to ever take your calls. I am a poorer man both financially and my limited sense of spirituality leaves me very disappointed in your development.

Consider the following

1) YOU writes a letter to pathways detailing the date when she will be out, and detailing what assistance she will need or questions what is available to her as she wants to become a productive person. And would like an appointment as soon as she gets out so she can begin right away before bad habits take over.
2) In the letter she leaves her fathers phone number if they need any information, and he father takes down the dates and times of the appointment or concerns they have as you have messed around before and wasted their time.
3) You write a letter to your health care provider, or to whomever will set you up with your health care. Explain your situation and the meds that you are currently taking and what mental health you will need
4) Coordinate this with your dad, since he received your SSI checks and is your primary caretaker he has the authority to act on your behalf.
5) It doesn’t hurt to write letters, it does hurt to wait too long.
6) It probably isn’t a good idea to hang up on someone who is trying to give you advice; you didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. You just kept repeating the BS about a phone call. I’ve been down that road before with you, have no desire to do it again.


Please don’t call and after you respond to this letter don’t send anymore, I need some YOU free time. I am not ready for you to get out and that is my problem. I cautioned you that things are different and I believed you. I have my doubts and that is my problems as well. You need to realize that your poopie will not exist once you get out. I put up with it because you were in there and I decided I could put up with it if it helped you.

I will pick you up but I rather not, I don’t want to hand you money and I don’t want to fight with you if I take you shopping, and you make decisions on your shopping based on how much money you want to keep because you always say “I need to have some money” and we know what has happened next.

Good luck and God Bless, I can’t promise if I will be around on the Monday or Tuesday after you get out, I would not count on it

Respectfully

*7^%$#