give up the right to be offended

Part one a letter to my baby who’s doing time

Well babyish I’m at home, kitty an I played light a he ran in circles 3 times for up to 4 minutes at a time, and he appears all tuckered out, he is lying on the tubs looking at me eyes half open, 24 is on and it is really really silly this year. I miss you terribly it is very surreal the length of time you have been away, and you may be away till the end of summer. I have planned to take a week off for my birthday, and I am a co sponsor of a mass on the 24th which is Ccuz’s birthday. I was e-mailing with S2 and she is upset as well. I was thinking about Ccuz and I remembered how sickly he always was and while he thought he lived in Hcuz’s shadow, his presence shined brightly, it is still unbelievable tragedy and I think of you and how many chances you have left. Hiney, what are your plans when you get out? You got popped for a $5 rock, that’s pocket money, and I worry that the way economy is, things will be real bad by this summer. Already robberies are way up, and they are stupid robberies, I worry about your psyche, you still talk like you are a ghetto girl, and I’ve tried to joke about it but you need to watch it, I’m sure it is hard an since you are in country you really have no chance to practice and you have to be invisible in country an I understand why you speak like that on the phone, because you don’t write like that.

I really need some time off but there is never enough time to be off, ( I told you NI gave me 30.00 right, I guess she had the $$$ Friday but was having fun, being young, and S2 got really pissed at her, I called S2 as soon as I got home and she was relieved, she complained that “NI acts like we all here to serve her” which describes the average 22 yr old, funny to hear her talking like that, I think NI got careless with her w-2’ an expected S2 to cover her. she drove out here and her car is a cute college car, gets 35 miles to the gallon. It cost her $73.00 to drive here from Oz) I have the week of my revolution around the sun off, and I am going to try to do something (it was 73 today, but it had to be about 76 downtown, you sun just walked to the door, I think kitty gets hot he sometimes sleeps in the bathtub, but he still sleeps next to the heater, I was reading up on cats and I need to get him out more, maybe when I get home, I’ll just take him around the parking lot, I think that the cordless phone will go as far as the street, and that should cover you. I’m Sleepy it is 10:20 pm

2/24/2009

Song “peace sells but who’s buying”
Great head banging song
But I will go with back in black
Tomorrow Lent starts and I am trying to embrace the teachings rather than the traditions, but I do have some catfish soaked in generic “lea and Perkins” sauce. I met with the priest Saturday and I was a little nervous and I got there too early, so I sat in the courtyard and there was no one there, and some birds, first a robin I think and some smaller birds were there and they were flapping away in the water and I grabbed a moment of clarity that I need to get out more, and the kitty really needs to get out more. It was 76 degrees and it isn’t even March yet, (I can feel another snowstorm out there anyway). While I was waiting, marveling at the birds, I looked at the bulletin and it offered the opinion that instead of giving up sweets, I give up the right to be offended. That really hit me between the eyes, I still have regrets against people at work that go back years, wasted energy really,, this anger manifests in my downgrading my self, my enemies real an imagined bring me down by their very existence, not by acts or words, maybe career holdback, but I own a large portion of that. I think I’m too smart for my own good and, I am opinionated, I am harsh for shock value, but…

I see the priest and he is glad that I see my ego is holing me back an affecting my health which prevents me from spreading the love of Jesus, or the Love I have for Jesus from helping others, I gave a brief explanation of my grievance and he said he had been there and understands, but that when I find my self I a trough I need to remember that I am not there alone, I have the guidance of God, (probably the holy spirit0 and I need to make my way out to find my path.

Father is a great man, really lifted my spirit, so I have a mission, work the mind, then the body, I will try to keep the basic vital statistics so I may not post every day but I will try to keep an account

But tonight at 10:00
Bc 156
Wt 263

Good night