Homeless day 141 and a funny Memory

In 1993, Gail and I went to the Lobo Game.  I think it was the Air Force game.  I got the tickets from someone at work.  We were on the top row.  We had only been dating about 4 months, so everything was still fun.

Gail had a period of her life where she "dated" a lot, and I can't judge cause,  if I was good looking and could get women to buy me things and they would have let me enjoy their company,  I would have at every opportunity. 

Gail had her fair share of opportunities,  I wish she had taken better care of her appointment books.  Would have made for good stories,  I don't remember all the names.

The football team had just finished a terrible season. A promising coach Dennis Franchione,  from a small division 2 school in Texas was hired.  He was going to be displayed at halftime.  He was standing at the top row, flanked by UNM athletic dignitaries.   People taking pictures.   Gail saw him, and didn't remember his picture was in the paper.

She got excited and told me " I know him, I think I slept with him" people turned around and stared. 

" He's the new football coach, and I don't think you've had time to add him to your list"

She laughed and blushed.

The Lobos just named their new Coach, and I was offered tickets to tonight's game. cause it's one of those games people give away their tickets to.

I miss that Gail. I saw her a few days ago, she cut off all her hair and took a shower.   She looked good for a 80 year old man.

I've accepted what she is, I need to accept who I will be

My Christmas story for 2019

A very old and dear friend of mine, has been in contact with me a lot. His dad is getting sick, and my friend is slowly preparing for the inevitable.
We go way back , hard to believe how long it's been. One of the very original Chales, a subversive group of ner do well kids, whose crimes and misdemeanors are plainly silly in retrospect.
My friend has been hungry and homeless before HS, and being hungry at an early age drove him to make as much money as he could, and he saved much of it. He was always fearful he would lose everything.
This drive ruined his health. We had many discussions over the years, and he always was overly impressed I got a degree and later retired from a job I didn't particularly like.
As you know I made a life decision regarding Gail, and for the most part, I've been slowly staying true to my plan. Gail is the one who moved on. A homeless addict, is much like a deer in the woods. Survival is a daily struggle. No time to say " I love you for sentimental reasons " it's hard to say goodbye.
As he talked me off the wall metaphorically, and I did the same for him. He always says he was " lucky " to be in financial stability, and I reminded him he worked very hard and the physical and mental told it took out on him. He always thanked me and told me how important our friendship is.

I've always sent him cards with the theme, I'm his uncle Danny and the cards were definitely not meant to be seen, and I'd add a dollar or two dollar bill, and I'd write horrible things and alter the picture in a very juvenile manner. He said he has every one

The last week he asked for my address m, even though he knows it and said he put an important note on the card, he kept calling to see if I got it.
I got it and it had a "C-NOTE", a hundred dollars.

He was very emotional and didn't want me to think he was looking down on me, he just wanted for me to have some fun money and he now thinks he'll be ok, he finally got married and feels safe for probably the 1st time ever.

We have some insane plans after we turn 62.

This CHRISTMAS, I wish all of you the Love you seek, the family binds that may frustrate, but keep you sane. I pray you find the peace if mind I am seeking, and the friends i am fortunate to have.
We live in troubled times, and I hope it will not define our reason to hope. No matter which side of the aisle we sit, and I realize my opinion is eating at my soul.
As I get older, I see my only opponent is Time.
I am grateful to you who spend your time with me and are part of what I call
"The Danny V experience:
Peace and Love to you all

Danny V.

Homeless day 30-Goodbye Gail

August 27, 2019
I let Gail go a month ago.
This would have been 27th anniversary, after pleading and begging Gail decided she rather live in Los Altos Park and live in addiction. I care for her deeply, but she is a far cry from the gal in this picture from 1979.
It was a long and winding friendship and later relationship. I've been going to Nar alon and it's giving me perspective on the opiod crisis that is sweeping the nation.
I see commercials on not giving up on addiction and the people that suffer, but being on the other side isn't easy. It's been a long and strange journey. If she ever finds salvation, we'll probably be friends, but its clear she has moved on from me, all her memories were thrown out by her family and they tapped out completely.
She had special soul, an infectious personality that will serve her well on the streets, and a kinship with spirituality that may save her, but a distant reality I cant see the end of the road. she is an original Chale, but the joke we shared isn't funny anymore.
I'll miss her, I know if she recovers she'll stay away, apropos as many of my friends have been telling me for years it's time to move on, and its finally time to say...
CHALE ON

Homeless day 33

Gail called yesterday, she wanted to meet today, but I was noncommittal.   She doesn't want money,  she wants to see me.  Her mom won't take her calls and according to her her phone is off the hook.
She said people throw money at her, she doesn't want money from me, will not go to shelter because she isn't clean, and she needs to see me.  She asked what day it is and I told her.  She remembers the anniversary that is not to be.
Her voice was flat no sign of the Gail I know

Homeless day 30

Goodbye Gail

August 27, 2019
I let Gail go a month ago.
This would have been 27th anniversary, after pleading and begging Gail decided she rather live in Los Altos Park and live in addiction. I care for her deeply, but she is a far cry from the gal in this picture from 1979.
It was a long and winding friendship and later relationship. I've been going to Nar alon and it's giving me perspective on the opiod crisis that is sweeping the nation.
I see commercials on not giving up on addiction and the people that suffer, but being on the other side isn't easy. It's been a long and strange journey. If she ever finds salvation, we'll probably be friends, but its clear she has moved on from me, all her memories were thrown out by her family and they tapped out completely.
She had special soul, an infectious personality that will serve her well on the streets, and a kinship with spirituality that may save her, but a distant reality I cant see the end of the road. she is an original Chale, but the joke we shared isn't funny anymore.
I'll miss her, I know if she recovers she'll stay away, apropos as many of my friends have been telling me for years it's time to move on, and its finally time to say...
CHALE ON

Homeless day 26

August 23. 2019
Sleeping in late,  really late , like 2:00 pm late, phone rings, its Gail but I can't hear her, I sent text, and she calls back she has no money. Food, all her stuff stolen, I knew I should have kept social security stuff. But I say no I'm sick. And what 520.00 did she get her money she doesn't know anything and if I don't take her food and money she is coming by to get cats, and I hung up

Homeless day 20

Gail called and had me pick up money.  Including the SSA paperwork to recertify,  she has 520.00.  She looks really old.  Gave her a powerade bottle of fruit juice.   A gal came out and was yelling at her, probably thought she stole it from the Chevron.   Don't know her anymore,  last night B---- and I ate at Frontier.   School starts Monday,  but it was moving in day.  Lots of young pretty gals, 40 years ago I was a freshman.   39 years ago Gail was  freshman at KKG.  Driving to school , I was in turn lane and a bunch of gals walked in front of me.  I yelled out but she didn't hear me.  The fraternity system turned her in to a drug addict,  promiscuous,  wasted life.  Got an "I love you" as she walked away, rang hollow
So it goes

Homeless day 18

Gail called this morning,  surprise surprise.   She wanted 40 bucks, then 10, then 5 bucks and 3 sausage mcmuffin,  soda, and a cafe frappuccino  for Audrey.   She is letting her stay there a while.  She sorted through the clothes I washed. She turned down the shoes and socks because the shoes were too big.
She looks really dirty.
She doesn't want me to pick up money because she knows I won't rip her off,  but her street personality say I will jack her.
She has a social security letter, hopefully she will use the services available to her.
Yesterday was Anniversary of cheap trick concert in 1979, and Gail lighting my hair on fire, and Gail giving my car away in 1992.
Aubrey is the gal who kept breaking the windows and got the house condemned.
Chale on

Homeless day 11, 12, 13

Missed call from Walmart, private number,  2 calls from Donut mart. Wanted money and complained about footwear
Hard to believe I knew her, some memory fade, but the near kiss at the rock house and working next to Arby's where Phil came on her stomach,  wish bbn I knew the story but phil drowned

Sent letter to Gail about laundry when she picks up ssi money and letter to betts address to see if forwarded
Went to narc alon, many lost and unhappy people

Homeless day 11

A friend Vic saw Gail at the Dollar Tree. She was denied access, she had a backpack and went to sit on a curb. 
She gets 520.00 soon, will likely be a tragic event,  but she could find a place to stay and maybe turn her life around.

UPDATE 1:05 pm

She called from Home Depot, wanted a ride and some help which means she isn't getting out of the car unless she gets money, probably a 100.00 with promise to pay later when she gets her 500.00.  I told her I was on my way go get a CT scan and she got pissed off asked what time it was and hung up.

Didn't ask what was wrong and I didn't get a chance to tell her that I have clean clothes

she is gone

Homeless day 8 and 9

Havent heard a word, debating if I should sent test letter to betts address.  Her clothes are clean I have an old garment bag so they can stay dry

Homeless Day 9

Gail called 8:36, she was raped, said she called cops and hung up.  She had time to answer question about going to hospital. And she didn't but talked to cops.

I sent a message to her friends Keith and Yoli, and I got a response that they asked her to watch stuff and she sold it and they lost everything and want some kind of compensation.

I can't believe anything but he did say he didn't think she was assaulted because they watch out for each other.
Don't know what to believe

Homeless Day 5 snookered and an empty wallet

1100 Target/Los Altos August 2, 2019
A very hungry and dirty Gail was at the Target, she had her shoes off. Demanded 40.00 once in car. Drove her to Los Altos I gave her all I had, stupid of me to have 40.00, and she yelled at me about her situation. She is in total homeless mode, after 4 days she has the homeless tan, gave her about 20 energy bars.
Went and bought fruit and soda for ma
Hot dogs and soda from cosco
UNM Hospital called for her, couldn't detail why but I told them she lives In Los Altos with a backpack and a blanket , the gal said "oh really! We'll have to figure something out" I told her she is in total homeless mode and had a breakdown and I had to bribe her to leave my car"

Homeless Day 8

Havent heard from Gail since Saturday night,  she called from the Owl cafe saying she is cold with no jacket.  I started to tell her due to hijacking my car for 40 bucks I cant help but she hung up.  Got her stinky clothes from storage,  but I had a liver scan this morning and I didn't sleep well last night, so I didn't do laundry. 
I got a new Gym bag and plan to give my old one.  Debated if I should get a gray sharpie and write her name and my number.
Lost the tiny receipt for the Gym bag, but I used debit card.
Strange how easy it is to not talk to someone. Never did that before.  Regret is a bitter pill.
Hope I haven't damaged my body.  Hope Gail gets right.

Homeless Day 7

No new news, after liver scan, I hope to wash my shirts and her stinky clothes.   Found a jacket,  hope she got the boots cause they aren't in the shed.  Hard to remember her as a girl friend.   Positive reinforcement from a gal going to south Africa.  I am blessed with good friends

Homeless day 6

A really bad day in El Paso, just before the news broke-there was a person on Eubank overpass threatening to jump.  I hoped it was Gail, well at 648 I knew it wasn't.  Gail would leave my car yesterday unless she got cash or I'd have to go to an ATM.  I gave her my emergency money and she berated me in front of her homeless homeys, I guess to prove how tough she is.
It rained pretty hard and it will be a chilly night
She called from the owl cafe letting me know she has no coat, I told her not only is it not my problem,  I dont really care because of what she did.  She hung up
I miss the dial tone.

Homeless day 5

Haven't heard anything, sister said someone rang door bell at 5 am, but no one was there.  Don't think it was Gail,  her aunt lives across the street.   Tempted to go to Los Altos, or go to Amberly Inn and see if they know anything.  Scared like when little John's apartment manager called to let me know he hadn't been seen for 3 days and I didn't go in but he shot himself and the cops found the body.  2 days later I went on to let his brother get his stuff and his brains were all over the walls and ceiling.  Smelled terrible.
Hope she is ok

Homeless day 4

Gail called 1000 pm and said she was at the hospital but was being discharged.  She spoke quickly, and didn't give me a chance to speak.  About 20 seconds.
Having an ingrown toe nail worked on today.  I'm afraid it's gonna hurt.
Still processing the last image of her sitting by herself head down, it looked like her situation suddenly became real. She told the maid "Danny don't like me anymore "

Homeless day 3

Gail had me pick up what little she had. She didn't want clean clothes, tried to get 40.00 so I closed and locked doors and wouldn't let her in, gave her 12.00 and she was talking to her self as I left. On eubank she had her head down and it would have been a good farewells shot, surrounded by a blanket, a broken grocery cart, sitting on curb. Reality has set in.  She has very little, kept syringes