Homeless day 5

Haven't heard anything, sister said someone rang door bell at 5 am, but no one was there.  Don't think it was Gail,  her aunt lives across the street.   Tempted to go to Los Altos, or go to Amberly Inn and see if they know anything.  Scared like when little John's apartment manager called to let me know he hadn't been seen for 3 days and I didn't go in but he shot himself and the cops found the body.  2 days later I went on to let his brother get his stuff and his brains were all over the walls and ceiling.  Smelled terrible.
Hope she is ok

Goodbye DAD!

Dear Dad,

Your presence is missed, you filled a room when you entered

Mom expects to see you in bed, I keep looking to see you with a blanket over your head watching TV, I miss you calling out”Rosely” Every time you needed something and mom saying “ como molestas” .  You gave the family many things, you provided for us, we took many vacations, you worked very hard, you overcame the loss of a job that devastated you to find your true calling in selling insurance for the Knights of Columbus.

I remember the first trike, pedal car, training wheels on a regular bike, the Dodge Dart I used to wreak it and your truck towing it, I remember the MG Midget you got to replace it, and the help with my first new car.

I remember your stressing the importance of an education, guiding me to a degree, advice on a job

I remember you taking me back in after I separated from Gail

I remember going to the PIT while it was built when I was 4 or 5, I remember the season tickets, football games, the regional, the 1978 team that was supposed to go to the pit, the football games when I had season tickets, mostly I remember you getting angry listening to Mike Roberts call a game and describe how the refs were destroying the Lobos, I’ve never seen you get that mad, and mom yelling that you were going to have a heart attack, particularly last few years

I remember your disappointment being 10 people away in the ticket line at the 1968 regional when UCLA  

I remember watching All in the Family you you doing an exaggerate your laugh that would make mom mad, when a pretty girl was on tv you’d say”Rosely Dios de mi vida” and she call you an old goat, I didn’t get it at the time why you would tease mom, but I got it when I met Gail.

I remember the BBQ in the back yard, and mom complaining when you forgot to turn off the gas

I remember the vacations to Disneyland, Dallas, Denver, Seattle, out trip to Seattle for Andy’s Funeral and Pike’s market

I remember little league, the K of C basketball team that made it to the championship, Boys club ball, team parents, the K of C softball team-you were the pitcher

I remember the basketball goal , the first on using 2 x4’s and the metal one you had made at Crist, the gift that kept giving, used at least 10 years every year, the flood light you put in, the dirt court you later cemented when you expanded the house giving Angela her own bed room and me a room far away from the rest of you.  I never got as tall as Petey Gibson but I tried.

I remember you getting into the Final Four in 1983 only having a ticket for the semi’s but a guy from UCLA gave you his ticket after they lost so he could go to the Pueblos.

I remember we watched the Cubs and went out finally in 2004 went to see a few games, when they won WS last year you were really happy 

I remember In 1972 mom liked the song “ Take a walk on the wild side” and when it was on the radio she would call you and hold the receiver to the radio, I don’t think you ever understood what the song was about, which is really funny.  

I remember how much mom, you  57+ years, will never forget you calling out “ROSELY I Need help” many times a day, she made your life complete, you always worried  about her at the end

I remember the K of C , the church, and the Hispanic Cultural center was central to your core beliefs of faith, family, and focus on your life, and it touched the lives of others

I remember your smile, your laugh, the glare that turned warm when you he recognized someone

I Remember A warm smile, joy of laughter, picked up the check even if you were the honoree, I had to sneak the check in later years

You  had a presence about yourself, unmatched , everyone knew when you was in the room

I honor your memory by remembering your smile, your laughter, devotion to family, dedication to helping others, and smiling at his memory there are 100’s of dad jokes and stories……………. you are  a really good guy

You wont be forgotten, the picture is my favorite of you and I, I will miss you

Love

Daniel

Farewell to an old Kitty

March 21, 2011

4 days till 50. I’m not as bummed as I thought I would be

A farewell to Lucky the kitty that lived at my parent’s house. I never really knew him, he usually hid when visitors came over, his name was actually Bennie, my mom and dad called him Kitty, but I called him Lucky. I got to know him a little when I moved in. I would see him in the morning around 6:00 am when I fed the mama cat, he would slowly walk over and stare at me, stare at the dish, and I would get him the wet food. He usually had ½ a can in the fridge, which puzzled me because Lucky barely weighed 5 lbs but mom said he was 18 and was getting ready to die. He would eat the can and while I was eating my breakfast and would stare at me and I would always open a new can and he would eat it all. Eventually I would give him whatever was left at night when I took my shower, and we would have a little chat and scratch.

He used to sleep in the closet where I’m staying and when I closed the door at night he used to tap the door to come in and tap it to go out. He started sleeping in the shower and my mom said he goes in there to drink the water. He looked really old and moved really slow and if he felt annoyed he would slowly walk away.

He loved my mom and dad, when my mom was in the hospital he cried every night at her bed and that really hit home with my dad and made my mom’s absence real. When mom came home Lucky was happy and stayed by her side. When mom got better he would sit on the couch between them until it was time for bed and let them know it was time for lights out.

The last couple of weeks I knew his time was about over, when I fed and sang with the Mama cat (who is a feral cat I had spayed) he would watch from the door, and last Thursday he sauntered over and ate from the mama cat’s food and the Mama cat moved over and let him eat, I was really touched by this, and it was the last time I saw him really involved in his surroundings. Friday morning he looked at me a usual but there seemed to be sadness about him, he didn’t sing like normal and he kept eating and drinking real slow. When I came home that night he was missing and came out late at night, and slept in his litter box. He slept the rest of the weekend and stayed in one spot, and didn’t respond when stroked. Sunday night we all knew he wasn’t happy and it was time. Monday he saw a vet and joined the universe. I remembered I had taken a photo of him and got some copies and the reality hit home he was leaving. This morning I said goodbye and by 10:00 he was gone, the idea he might be throw in the trash bothered my mom so arrangements were made to have him cremated with other kitties and ashes spread in the mountains.

Finally, why I called him Lucky, my sister got a cat and was living with a sociopath when she couldn’t take it she moved in with my parents, this was about 15 years ago. The cat got out and my sister was very upset and called the pound daily. Finally she got a call the cat was there and came home. The Cat took to the surroundings especially my parents, when they were petting him they noticed he had no claws, the wrong Kitty came home, but since the new kitty bonded with my parents and my sister didn’t notice the difference. He stayed, a comfort to my parents, a sometime companion to my sister, and a part of the family. The house seems empty without you Lucky, I truly hope you didn’t suffer anymore than you wanted to, and I appreciate you letting us know it was time

The Pledge

I have been blessed with having many friends who knew me 30 plus years ago, and whether God suffers fools, I’ve been very lucky, or my bill is coming due soon, for some reason recent events placed me in a position where faces from the past have come to roost, and a delayed dinner invitation came back to haunt me as a lovely woman and wife of a very close friend dies suddenly. The very next day I meet an old coworker (although I’m the old one as she would likely point out) and her daughter as she runs 10 kilometers for the fun of it and is joined by about 100 others, I meet her darling daughter who is very much like her mom and Grandma is along and it is strange to see three generations out for a stroll and shared time. My family is pretty tight but not three generations, but it is more a function of age as there was a time when I was a child that the closeness was there before was convinced that my ancestors did not descend from Spain, but from somewhere beyond the andromeda galaxy.. I say that not in a derogatory manner because all families are convinced they are the strangest, and many have their tales to tell. My family runs strangeness par excellence and I only know 15% of the stories and the real stories will never be told due to death. I have this bizarre fantasy that once the main actors have passed a sacred document with the chronology of the family secrets, with space for my generation to add on to it.

Alas it ain’t gonna happen! This week I was reminded at a mini 30th reunion of how people I barely knew 30 years ago meant to me and of the opportunity I missed by not so much toeing the line but by not appreciation the opportunities that were presented to me, and my antiestablishment behavior was wasted on adults who only (for the most part) wanted the best for me both spiritually and emotionally. My behavior was a necessary step, for had I not taken the leap to boarding school, I might have followed a path of total self annihilation. My two years there are the fondest memories I have, an encapsulation of insanity, fears, tears, laughter, and a gift of Love for life and shared experiences that are priceless.

I write this while admitting I have always been “hefty”, as a kid I was “husky” “Husky plus”, in HS I was elegantly plump. Now I am a load but I have yo-yo’s about 25 lbs the last 10 years. While looking at fotos from the 20th I discovered that I still have some of the same shirts and they were loose there now they are a little tighter and while there must be some shrinkage, there is expansion taking place. It is only noteworthy because I have joined the diabetes club recently and the doctor and dentist told me it is time for change, before the damage is irreversible. It is strange when someone dies within 6 degrees of separation I get the “You really need to take care of yourself”

So for the 38th consecutive year I will take the pledge
This Year I have a Kitty at my side