I haven’t posted in a while. The Ideas come to me at
opportune moments in the sense I have an “ah Ha “moment and I rush to pen and
paper; fade away before I can. A moral
failure of pastoral proportions, it is not unusall. I am approaching 26 years at a job I really
don’t like but I have liked many of the people that have come and gone since I
started. I can keep to myself, but I
deliver goods and services with a dour expression that most find funny, but
those who don’t are vocal. I also pay invoices. Hardly what I started to do,
but fear of everything keeps me from pursuing other jobs. I have a civil service job. I am seen as a parasite on the tax payer.
I can’t blame anyone. It’s my own fault. I often made comments many felt
inappropriate. I tried to instigate
debate, purely for the sake of humor, and they wanted to do their job. I had a few chats with supervisors, but I
never said anything that would get me in trouble. The office chose to not promote
me. Looking back I think they tried to
warn me, but full of self-importance I ignored them. I used to wonder if it was
because I was a fat man, or a major disappointment.
I was competent at my job, but I really never liked it. I did the minimum required in critical areas,
and it was easier to leave me where I was at than to pursue moving me elsewhere
for 20 years. In an ironic way, almost
all who had a problem with my attitude, left for greener pastures and excelled. They worked hard, made things better, but
were not “appreciated”. The ones who
didn’t leave were demoted, kept their pay, but moved to a smaller office where
they consumed much excrement till they had enough time to retire.
I have enough service time, but made life decisions that
drove me to move back home, and borrow against my pension to erase credit card
debt. It will take 4 years to pay
off. I will then max out my retirement
package, 5 years short of qualifying for SSI.
Depressing eh?
As this is Musings of a fat man, perhaps I should state the
current state of my immenseness, 5 years ago, (or is it 6) I was pushing
290. I had a difference of opinion with
a new supervisor; I was cast out of finance into a labor driven job with a
taste of finance. Got down to 250
through minimal effort and cutting out sugar.
I joined a fitness club, and tried my best but I had no idea
what I was doing. There was a contest to
see who could lose the most weight. I
signed up with a trainer and spent almost 400.00. Lost 20 pounds, unfortunately this happened
before the first weigh in. At the end of
the contest I was down to 221. Went down
to barely getting into a XL, and a XXl looks too big on me.
I Haven’t done much since.
