A very old and dear friend of mine, has been in contact with me a lot. His dad is getting sick, and my friend is slowly preparing for the inevitable.
We go way back , hard to believe how long it's been. One of the very original Chales, a subversive group of ner do well kids, whose crimes and misdemeanors are plainly silly in retrospect.
My friend has been hungry and homeless before HS, and being hungry at an early age drove him to make as much money as he could, and he saved much of it. He was always fearful he would lose everything.
This drive ruined his health. We had many discussions over the years, and he always was overly impressed I got a degree and later retired from a job I didn't particularly like.
As you know I made a life decision regarding Gail, and for the most part, I've been slowly staying true to my plan. Gail is the one who moved on. A homeless addict, is much like a deer in the woods. Survival is a daily struggle. No time to say " I love you for sentimental reasons " it's hard to say goodbye.
As he talked me off the wall metaphorically, and I did the same for him. He always says he was " lucky " to be in financial stability, and I reminded him he worked very hard and the physical and mental told it took out on him. He always thanked me and told me how important our friendship is.
I've always sent him cards with the theme, I'm his uncle Danny and the cards were definitely not meant to be seen, and I'd add a dollar or two dollar bill, and I'd write horrible things and alter the picture in a very juvenile manner. He said he has every one
The last week he asked for my address m, even though he knows it and said he put an important note on the card, he kept calling to see if I got it.
I got it and it had a "C-NOTE", a hundred dollars.
He was very emotional and didn't want me to think he was looking down on me, he just wanted for me to have some fun money and he now thinks he'll be ok, he finally got married and feels safe for probably the 1st time ever.
We have some insane plans after we turn 62.
This CHRISTMAS, I wish all of you the Love you seek, the family binds that may frustrate, but keep you sane. I pray you find the peace if mind I am seeking, and the friends i am fortunate to have.
We live in troubled times, and I hope it will not define our reason to hope. No matter which side of the aisle we sit, and I realize my opinion is eating at my soul.
As I get older, I see my only opponent is Time.
I am grateful to you who spend your time with me and are part of what I call
"The Danny V experience:
Peace and Love to you all
Danny V.
Tuesday, December 24, 2019
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Homeless day 141 and a funny Memory
In 1993, Gail and I went to the Lobo Game. I think it was the Air Force game. I got the tickets from someone at work. We were on the top row. We had only been dating about 4 months, so everything was still fun.
Gail had a period of her life where she "dated" a lot, and I can't judge cause, if I was good looking and could get women to buy me things and they would have let me enjoy their company, I would have at every opportunity.
Gail had her fair share of opportunities, I wish she had taken better care of her appointment books. Would have made for good stories, I don't remember all the names.
The football team had just finished a terrible season. A promising coach Dennis Franchione, from a small division 2 school in Texas was hired. He was going to be displayed at halftime. He was standing at the top row, flanked by UNM athletic dignitaries. People taking pictures. Gail saw him, and didn't remember his picture was in the paper.
She got excited and told me " I know him, I think I slept with him" people turned around and stared.
" He's the new football coach, and I don't think you've had time to add him to your list"
She laughed and blushed.
The Lobos just named their new Coach, and I was offered tickets to tonight's game. cause it's one of those games people give away their tickets to.
I miss that Gail. I saw her a few days ago, she cut off all her hair and took a shower. She looked good for a 80 year old man.
I've accepted what she is, I need to accept who I will be
Homeless day 30-Goodbye Gail
August 27, 2019
I let Gail go a month ago.
This would have been 27th anniversary, after pleading and begging Gail decided she rather live in Los Altos Park and live in addiction. I care for her deeply, but she is a far cry from the gal in this picture from 1979.
It was a long and winding friendship and later relationship. I've been going to Nar alon and it's giving me perspective on the opiod crisis that is sweeping the nation.
I see commercials on not giving up on addiction and the people that suffer, but being on the other side isn't easy. It's been a long and strange journey. If she ever finds salvation, we'll probably be friends, but its clear she has moved on from me, all her memories were thrown out by her family and they tapped out completely.
She had special soul, an infectious personality that will serve her well on the streets, and a kinship with spirituality that may save her, but a distant reality I cant see the end of the road. she is an original Chale, but the joke we shared isn't funny anymore.
I'll miss her, I know if she recovers she'll stay away, apropos as many of my friends have been telling me for years it's time to move on, and its finally time to say...
CHALE ON
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