Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Can anyone fix my computer

December 14, 2004

It has been some time since I’ve has any kind of cognitive thought. I don’t have to write letters to a friend in Jail. While I’m glad they’re out the level of frustration has risen to the nth degree. Someone who has been confined for any length of time has a huge adjustment period to being on e outside. I can’t imagine what it would be like, but when I went to boarding school I had a rough time on summer break being used to total freedom, no big brother watching and no responsibilities ( I was 15 when I left there)

My computer at work still operated like it is a 286. People come and fix it and they say everything is fine but I will have to find all the old software back everything up and ask for a new computer. Problem is it will have to have a modem and I don’t thik that anyone kept the software for the modem in the work computer. My home computer is junk as well but it is manageable, just the internet stuff is a hassle and it is 5 yrs old but a new one will be 1500 ( one that I like ) and maybe if I finally make the decision to go lean I can pay off bills and get a new one that I will like. But I may have to go to DSL but it is an expense I don’t want to think about.

I weighed 263 this morning, I haven’t done the streaching to strength my knees (ever) and my hearing in my left ear is getting worse. I think it is a blockage but I can’t hear whispering and people talk so much trash or are afraid that someone will hear what they say, that they talk low and I can’t hear every thing they say.

Plan for this week
Write and mail Cards
Finish x-mas shopping
Hit gym at least 3 times (tough)
Make some kind of peace with Gail
Get sleep
Make own food
Streach
Maybe yoga?
Maybe not

Quite a list but it is feasible, tonight will be the test. Can I live off the sandwich from Subway and parlay that into low food intake and gym after I finish with GIRL? Or should I wait and start the cards that are bound out of town? GIRL called a whole bunch of times and I had to be very abrupt with her


Monday, November 22, 2004

Absolutely the last letter, why did your dad seeme

Last letter,
Tonight is 11/22/2004

I spoke with your dad
1. Above is a picture of your bus pass and keys
2. Your dad will have your food stamp card
3. I did not want any money for you
4. I will buy you something to eat and if necessary leave you with 5 bucks
5. I will pick you up and I will be waiting for your call
6. I am not involved with anything to do with your money, food stamp card
7. I am hopeful you will not do anything to make me stay away
8. I am hopeful I will not do anything to upset you
9. I pray you will make it
10. I will help

Just got two letters from you
I don’t buy your reason for hanging up on me but I accept your apology
I hope you realize you hung up on me I day after John’s anniversary
Next letter

I have an Uncle Donald, you know about him, he used to complain that people treaded him like a kid, his brain is mush and he will be 60 soon, he has lived in my grandma’s garage for as ling as I can remember. My dad is worried about what will happen to him when grandma dies or Grandpa dies what will happen to his money, how long it will last, how he will make it.

I see that possibility for you, and I see it as a real possibility. Living at cder lodge is a step above living in a garage; I can’t be a party to that. After a very long time in jail and blowing two chances the 1st day, how can I believe this time will be different? I want to believe you, but I just don’t know

I don’t want to provoke you I want to be helpful. I do not want to hear any bitching about money or I will just drop you off after getting you something to eat. You have plenty of food and drink in your apartment.

I pray for you
I really do miss you
I will help out as much as I feel safe doing
Good luck

Thursday, November 18, 2004

11 18 2004 Hopefully the last letter to you in Jail

November 18, 2004

This will probably be my last letter, you are getting out soon and very frankly it is getting had to keep writing you every day and taking you phone calls which are very expensive and it is clear that you don’t appreciate my efforts and are taking for granted. I sent you extra envelopes so you could write pathways and also the place where you are arranging you medical help and meds. Advance notice coordinated with your dad’s efforts could help you hit the ground running. Previous attempts by yourself to take care of things when you get out have resulted in, not one but two failures in which both cases you failed the first or second day. That is why I put distance from you and I felt bad for you and I relented and let you back into my life and feelings. I see now that was a mistake to ever take your calls. I am a poorer man both financially and my limited sense of spirituality leaves me very disappointed in your development.

Consider the following

1) YOU writes a letter to pathways detailing the date when she will be out, and detailing what assistance she will need or questions what is available to her as she wants to become a productive person. And would like an appointment as soon as she gets out so she can begin right away before bad habits take over.
2) In the letter she leaves her fathers phone number if they need any information, and he father takes down the dates and times of the appointment or concerns they have as you have messed around before and wasted their time.
3) You write a letter to your health care provider, or to whomever will set you up with your health care. Explain your situation and the meds that you are currently taking and what mental health you will need
4) Coordinate this with your dad, since he received your SSI checks and is your primary caretaker he has the authority to act on your behalf.
5) It doesn’t hurt to write letters, it does hurt to wait too long.
6) It probably isn’t a good idea to hang up on someone who is trying to give you advice; you didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. You just kept repeating the BS about a phone call. I’ve been down that road before with you, have no desire to do it again.


Please don’t call and after you respond to this letter don’t send anymore, I need some YOU free time. I am not ready for you to get out and that is my problem. I cautioned you that things are different and I believed you. I have my doubts and that is my problems as well. You need to realize that your poopie will not exist once you get out. I put up with it because you were in there and I decided I could put up with it if it helped you.

I will pick you up but I rather not, I don’t want to hand you money and I don’t want to fight with you if I take you shopping, and you make decisions on your shopping based on how much money you want to keep because you always say “I need to have some money” and we know what has happened next.

Good luck and God Bless, I can’t promise if I will be around on the Monday or Tuesday after you get out, I would not count on it

Respectfully

*7^%$#

letter from 11 15 to 11 17

November 15, 2004
hey you

The fact that certain planets are uninhabited may very well derive from the fact that their nuclear scientist are more advanced than ours -Salon Gahlin (swedish author)

It has been a very busy day and I will try to get out a page to you. I will be writing probably my last letter next Monday. If you get out the 28th then it would not make much sense to keep writing beyond that because of the mail service. Tomorrow is John’s anniversary and I am sad but not as mystified as I once was, I just realized I will not finish a letter to you and I am going to send a postcard, OK. I am going to go buy a big burger and vegi out have a good night, I would have told you earlier what day tomorrow is but I didn’t want you to worry. Goodnight, if the mood strikes me I may write at home

November 16, 2004
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.- William Faulkner

Well the mood didn’t strike me, and I had a hard time sleeping so I set the TV as an alarm clock except it went off way too early. I am tired right now and sleepy but I think the cold I had last week has claimed a few people and they are not here today, I may go get a sub from subway for lunch and work until about 6:15 or so and then go to a movie at the downtown theater. I still have a chance to see “the motorcycle diaries” and I should see it on the big screen

1:15pm
I had lunch with the captain and we talked shop BTW I am dressed completely in black in my nice clothes. A few people asked me why and I told them and I guess word got around because no one else has asked. I had a meatball sub a subway and I will save half for later and then go to the movie, I may work until about 6:00 or so

November 17, 2004
There are no more hours in a bad day than in a good one! - Unknown

I knocked over my computer when the cord got caught in my foot and the motherboard broke, I had no computer until 9:00 am this morning. I stayed until 6:00 and about 5:15 I caught Blondie McPherson looking around in my area she asked me “How long are you going to be here” and I told her “Until I leave……I’m going to the 7:00 movie, and I am catching up on paperwork” then she asked me if I can provide her with old recons. I’m guessing she would have rummaged around and when she didn’t find what she would have complained that our area is a mess. It’s a mess because the auditors are almost done and they have brought back much of the binders and they have not been refiled yet.

4:15 PM
It is almost done, the day is neigh near end, I may stay until 6:00 and work on old items there are many old items and I need to make headway on them. There is a pissing contest afoot and if I get caught in the middle. I’ll just be covered with piss but I will survive
6:00
Still here I must finish this and get it to you because you need mail (or something like that) and envelopes. You have probably gotten the post card about John’s anniversary and I hope you are not worried. Everything is fine, I found a place where a bottle of whisky is only $4.99. It isn’t very good. It is called “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails” Whiskey. It tastes like its name, when you open he bottle the smell is like a wet doge in a garden
Time to go found a song from when we were young. It is on the back
You are almost out of there, be good

Cool song: see if you name the band

Goin' to the city, got you on my mind,
Country sure is pretty, I'll leave it all behind,
This is my decision, I'm comin' home to stay this time, 'cause I'm a -

Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city,
Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city.

Breathin' all the clean air, sittin' in the sun,
When I get my train fare, I'll get up and run,
I'm ready for the city, air pollution here I come! 'Cause I'm a-

Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city
Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city

I'm like a fish out of water, I'm just a man in a hole,
The city lights turn my blues into gold.
I ain't no country boy, I'm just a homesick man,
I've gotta hit the grit just as fast as I can.

I'm tired of layin' back and hangin' around,
I'm gonna catch that train, Whoo! And I'll be city bound, Yeah!

{Rod Solo - verse, chorus}

I ain't no country boy, I'm just a homesick man,
I gotta hit the grit just as fast as I can.

I'll get off on Main street, step into the crowd,
Sidewalk under my feet, yeah, traffic's good and loud, whoa,
When I see my Inner City child, I'll be walkin' on a cloud. 'Cause I'm a-

Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city,
Fool for the city, I'm a fool for the city.
I'm a fool, (fool for the city),
A fool for the city, (fool for the city).
I'm a fool, (fool for the city),
Fool for the city, yeah, (fool for the city).
Whoo!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

In Memory of Little John

On this day, November 11, 2000, My good friend and troubled soul. John Frank Foshee put a 9mm bullet through his head, spreading what was left of a brillent brain all over his room, and leaking about 3 quarts of blood on his bed.

Born in 1962 and with promise of a superior intellgence he used his mental abilites to drink massive quanties of Alcohol and end what ever chance he had at a career.

John had many friends, and we all tried to help. But John believed he was meant for a higher purpose and everyone was jealious of his talents. After getting him a job where he could put those talents to work, he failed. He failed because of a lack of training and his inability to listen.

He stopped beliving his own shit and quit

I miss you bro you should have stuck around. Look at everything you missed since you joined the universe. I stopped at your mom's grave last year and I have not heard from your brother. There is nothing to show you ever existed, and memories are fading. It is as though your name was Winston Smith

Monday, November 15, 2004

Letter of the 12th

November 12, 2004
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas A. Edison
The beginning is the most important part of any work. - Plato

Why were you worried about me? Did you think I was the guy who got shot at the gas station, or the guy who got shot at the Hotel lodge or did you think I was the guy who got stabbed at the bar. Either way I hope you were not expecting a visit. I cannot escape this fly or cold or what ever you want to call it. How are things on lock down? Or is lock down over? I never saw anything on the news but they are going to build a psychiatric ward there, the same wonderful people that built the first jail that was months behind schedule and shoddy work done. So you get out in two weeks, are you ready? Is there some kind of plan that you have. It would be better if you set everything up ahead of time, write a letter to whomever you will be receiving your assistance. What are you expectations concerning myself?

Things are different and I think I have gone beyond what I wanted to; I gave you a break because you are closed off from people and I took far too many calls. I have the phone bill to prove it and I guess from your last letter that you dad is bummed out about his phone bill as well

Damm I feel like shit although I am feeling better, my nose is all stuffed up and I think I had a fever earlier but I don’t have a thermometer but my jaw hurt and it usually hurts when I have a fever, but it don’t feel too sore right now. You will not get this until Monday or Tuesday but don’t be hurt if I don’t make it for a visit, I just happened to be on east central and I looked at the time and I figured what the hell I may as well give it a shot and it worked out and I was glad to make a little effort to make you day.

It is almost lunch, a friend of My sister's belonged to this mythical band and someone made a film about him and a rival band called “TDW's” and the band Angela’s friend belonged to was called “Some kind of Massacre”. Anyway I taped the movie for Her and also apparently Neice #1 has taken the GED and ACT and will be going to college next year. So Niece #1 went to D-town yesterday to go to a concert (I forget who) and I pledged 50 bucks. I am so broke with all the birthdays, phone bills, pledges, cold tablets and election bets. I still cannot believe that Alfred won.

SO I forgot the movie and I have to go home for lunch and get it and then meet Angela to give her the money she fronted Niece #1 and also give her the movie. This guy A-hole, everyone speaks about him like he is a genius but he appears to be a real asshole, every time "Some kind of Massacre" has a big gig with record people there he gets in a fight with his band and fires all of them or pushes them off the stage. He thinks this is his "standing out" but it is a tired old trick tht rarely works.

Just got back, it is supposed to snow tonight tomorrow and Sunday, D-man's sisters took their mom to Las Vegas and they are driving and he is worried so I’ve been giving him grief telling him it is a huge mistake for 3 women to be driving alone through a snowstorm in Arizona and they may make it there but will encounter trouble coming back and they should plan on staying in Kingman rather than risk driving through Flagstaff
I understand that the Scott Peterson Jury has reached a verdict, on Tuesday a juror was dismissed and on Wednesday the foreman was dismissed. If he is found guilty he got screwed and I don’t think he will have any problems getting a new trial. However I think he may skate.

NOPE:
Guilty 1st degree special circumstances Laci, Guilty 2nt degree special circumstances Baby Connor. He is eligible for the death penalty, I wonder if he will get it? Probably, it looked really bad for him. I wonder if he will ever tell what happened, I like to hear why he did it, was it a planned event or did he just freak out. I still have a hard time believing he did it

Page one

Imagine what would have happened if you were there at the time this had happened. I can picture you sitting outside smoking a cigarette in one hand and a coke in the other telling the guy to call the Ambalance and then you following the guy with the gun to see what he was going to do and then screaming running back to call me to tell me what had just happened.

If you think I am wrong then tell me where I am wrong huh

I am glad I don’t work tomorrow but I may sneak in Sunday to catch up on all the stuff I missed while working on the special project, but it may snow a lot and if it does I have been challenged to a snowball fight (I think) by the blond down the hallway from Sweden. She actually asked me if I would like a snowball and I told her if it wasn’t too cold, she laughed so hard she went in her room and I could still hear her laughing.
I’m quite a funny guy huh

It is almost time to go and it may snow
Here is your moment of Zen (page 3)
Peace

The light bounces off the mirror and reflects about what it has seen



Letter of the 10th

November 10, 2004
Well I got the letter you are on two weeks lockdown but I have not received the letter in three parts that you wrote to you dad yet which is in between the magazine and the two letters I got that you wrote last Friday and Saturday. Below is young Cody and a survey that I took part in and many of my write-in votes were printed, I’m a funny guy eh
My jaw hurts and it is usually a sign of some king of bacterial infection (like strep) but I will have to wait and see to be sure it is not from the mask or from some out side source, I feel worse that I did yesterday but I have tomorrow off.

The below story is both sad and funny
Coyotes Roaming Northeast Neighborhood
POSTED: 11:29 pm MST November 9, 2004
UPDATED: 11:55 pm MST November 9, 2004
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Animal control officers have issued a warning for residents in an Albuquerque neighborhood to be on the lookout for a very bold pack of coyotes.
The wild canines have killed one dog and attacked numerous others in an area around Tramway Boulevard and Indian School Road in the northeast part of the city, authorities said.
"You wouldn't think that your dogs in the back yard would be at risk, but apparently they are," said area resident Debra Brewster. She told Action 7 News that she mistakenly thought three coyotes were just dogs off their leashes last Sunday.
"And then I realized it was coyotes," she said. "It looked like they just ate a Chihuahua."
Another resident said that one of dogs was killed in a recent coyote attack, while another escaped.
There are at least two families of coyotes in the area "posing a threat to citizens as well as domestic pets," according to animal control officer Ernie Alexander. "We believe that there's at least seven to 10 coyotes."
Smaller pets should be kept inside at night, and watched carefully in open spaces. Small adults and children may also be at risk of attack, Alexander said. He urged residents also to keep garbage cans securely fastened.
His office has contacted state wildlife officials to coordinate an appropriate response to the presence of the animals. So far, the coyotes have walked right past traps
Is it wrong to laugh that a Chihuahua got eaten by a Coyote, I don’t know but I was conflicted
IT IS 4:35PM AND IT IS GETTING TIME TO GO
My sinus or my upper cheek bone hurts and I still don’t know why. do I have a fever? Am I really, really sick? Quien Sabe, why wont people around here sign anything when I present it to them, they pretend they don’t see it and I should just let the deadline expire
Anyway this is short but sweet, hope you like the news stories

VISIT? HA (4:45pm 11/10/04)

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Letter of the 8th, number 10 on the count up

November 8, 2004

It was good to see you Saturday, I slept most of Sunday and my mind is still in a fog. Last week is an illusion and I have been looking at my e-mails and I still cannot accept that Bush won, except that since he looks like Alfred E Newman I will start referring to his as Alfred. Well back to work there are many daily inspirations in my inbox and I got a note from JC about X
Hey man,

sorry - I've been away from the office for obvious reasons. Back today
for a half day, and hopefully back fulltime next week. Thanks for the
good wishes. I'm such a luddite that photos will be problematic. But not undoable, and as soon as I can manage it I will send some. I'm under no illusions - he looks like his father was Kim Jong Il, and his mother was Yoda. But I think he's beautiful and he's mine all mine.

I like the dreams for the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

9:30
I’ve been here since 7:30 and I am still in a bit of a daze. I must have some kind of fever, because I always feel warm and my apt felt this weekend like it was almost a furnace. It was 80 but I don’t know if having the humidifier on all the time had something to do with it. It is supposed to get colder this week and I left the window open today in the hopes that it will cool down the room and air it out a bit, it smells like Vicks vapor rub and I am tired of the smell.

11:20
Just received a picture of x when he was minutes old, very impressive looking kid, although I think that JC now looks older than I do but it could be the thinning hairline. I’m feeling much worse now and I wonder if my sinus allergies are going to be acting up again like they did about 10 years ago. Remember all the pills I had to take? I remember that you were worried about my headaches and you always tried to get Dr Pain to give me pain medication. (Hah!)

11:45
It is almost lunchtime and I would buy lunch but the café has dropped off somewhat, it is a little expensive (to me anyway, meals are about $5.00 including a drink) and he is a Bush butt boy and I am not going to do anything to help out the m-fers who helped Alfred get elected.

12:40
Went downtown to cool down but now I am sweating profusely and my tummy is growling (ROAR) so I may have to buy a chicken sandwich
I did buy a chicken sandwich and it is only ok but it was made fresh. Tomorrow is Mary’s birthday. I think she will be about over 18. Now that I have eaten a little I feel much worse. Is it possible to get sick from eating a bird sandwich? More I cannot say, the illusions are bye the way, it cannot be the chosen day, and I’m tired of rooting for Tampa Bay.

I stopped by the post office and a uniformed Federal official sold me two stamped envelopes for $0.90 Neat!!
I don’t feel so good and this place doesn’t help out my disposition. I will go buy some more cold tablets and I may need to buy some day tablets, it might help me feel better. I am still getting e-mail from the Democratic Party, they can’t want more money now can they? Planning for 2008? ‘Sir-eats-a-lot-Great American, President’ ha!

Alf has a new talk show and it is very funny but he slammed Henry Winkler and didn’t know he was standing behind him, I think it was a set up but I don’t know if Alf has decent Peripheral vision and I can’t understand why the camerman didn’t warn him
That’s all

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Bush wins, america loses, Cody Jesse K. joins the world

Letter to a friend
But A jolly big welcome to the world to Cody Jesse K who came in yesterday morning
8lbs 14 oz (ouch)

We are all fucked now, I'm glad I'm too old to draft
to those youth who chose not to vote
remember today when they hand you a rifle and tell you to climb a hill of sand
I'll be drinking a beer in your memory





November 2, 2004

It is election night, I got two letters postage due but I don’t know if I owe the money or you already paid the 35 cents for the two letters. It isn’t looking good or bad for Kerry. I had hoped by now that he would have a huge lead or win a couple of states, but it looks like Florida and Ohio will be the difference, I’m kind of scared Bush will win but I turned off the TV and got on the internet and will wail for CNN alerts to see who wins for now. I was here when you tried to call but you hung up right away, I’m guessing you were not supposed to call. I had a very terse e-mail from Karen this morning that I was able to read without opening so she couldn’t tell if I read it, Basically it said Don’t visit, Don’t call, don’t e-mail and I thought back to everything about her, how she accused me of thinking she wanted to sleep with me because I wouldn’t hang out with her, she thinks I hate women and every time I talked with her she accused me of using $100.00 words. She makes lots of really easy mistakes and I think she often comes to work stoned and I really thinks she is a misandrist (mis-"an-drist) ok I looked it up, it is someone who hates men and I was thinking that we became friends because I didn’t treat her like she was different, but now I realize that if she wasn’t sick I would have told her to fuck off a long time ago, I almost sent her a e-mail telling her it is best to say goodbye because one of us will be dead or incapacited in 10 years and that I will do my best to avoid pissing on her grave.

Anyway the reason I’m going on about Karen because she became kind of a really mini you without the drug baggage. I wonder what happened to us Gail, why do I remember the bad shit, I have really thought about it and it is because you have not really put together any really good time together. If it wasn’t the drugs it was the cutting, or the stealing and I was not perfect/ If I had had the balls to leave earlier maybe you would have realized what you had to do to get better, or I would have moved on and made something of myself. We may have a future but it won’t be the same. We are not kids I miss you but I cannot commit to you and Paris Hilton doesn’t return my calls anymore, In fact she last told me “I don’t remember fucking you in 2002, leave me alone” I should be a lawyer huh, Yeah I voted 3 times. Bush just picked up Arkansas even though thsy have not counted any votes as of yet. What the fuck is going on. I drove around for a half and hour and the fuck face husband of your mom’s friend on KOB is making fun of how on of the Kerry daughters looks like a horse. Tell you mom I said that he looks like has been sucking on dicks at the gay parade for 10 hours, fuck him he is so far up bush’s ass he can taste what he had for dinner yesterday.

More bad news from the election but I can’t trust the media anymore, they spew Bush agenda but don’t smile. I put on SRV CD (if you have to ask you don’t need to know)

The lyrics below are form a song that reminded me of Little John before he went away, a song of his promise but that we both knew would be he end, and looking bake I knew he would take of and go away

The other lyrics is from my favorite love movie, we saw it together and you mad fun of me for crying because I thought it was too close to our situation

So you get to guess, still looks bad for Kerry, but all hope is not lost I don’t know who will win

November 3, 2004
6:56am
Kerry Lost, it isn’t official but the votes are not there
I feel bad for the kids who will die now
I feel bad for the women who may lose their rights
Have a happy day?
9:45am
Kerry just conceded and I will finish the letter from here
Page one
I still cannot believe Bush won, I guess it is a different America or it will become a different America, the right wing part of America is giddy with victory.

The giant oak is an acorn that held its ground.- Anonymous

I am listening to the concession speech by Kerry right now and I am going to get more involved, and it will take a lot of devotion. I cut back my cable bill just now and cancelled my New Yorker subscription. I am going to reexamine a lot of what I spend money on.

Very gracious speech from Kerry, of course the only station to carry it was KOB an Limbaugh still wouldn’t let the election die.

Enjoy the lyrics
Danny


Life By The Drop Lyrics-by Stevie Ray Vaughan

Hello there, my old friend
Not so long ago it was til the end
We played outside in the pouring rain
On our way up the road we started over again
You're livin our dream oh you on top
my mind is achin,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens livin life by the drop
Up and down the road in our worn down shoes
Talkin about good things and singin the blues
you went your way and I stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter of time
You're livin our dream oh you on top
my mind is achin,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens livin life by the drop
No wasted time, we're alive today
Churnin up the past, there's no easier way
Time's been between us, a means to an end
God it's good to be here walkin together my friend

We're livin our dreams
my mind's stopped achin,'
That's how it happened livin life by the drop
That's how it happened livin life by the drop
That's how it happened livin life by the drop

The reference to life by the drop is to alcohol, it really brings home how messed up he was and how much I miss him and I guess how much I miss you but that you need to show yourself you want to live before I can be part of it.

I cannot believe Kerry lost, they are saying Bush won on morals, the war, and where he stands, you know where stands don’t you, On the heads of the poor and the oppressed. A new battle must be enjoined the youth stayed home again, they cannot be counted on except whey their blood is shed on the battlefield.
Page two

Page three
Artist: Crystal Gayle Lyrics
Song: Is There Any Way Out Of This Dream? Lyrics
I can clearly see nothing as clear
I keep falling apart every year
Let's take a hammer to it
There's no glamour in it
Is there any way out of this dream

I'm as blue as I can possibly be
Is there someone else out there for me
Summer is dragging its feet
I feel so incomplete
Is there any way out of this dream
Summer is dragging its feet
I feel so incomplete
Is there any way out of this dream
Artist: Tom Waits, Crystal Gayle Lyrics
Song: Picking Up After You Lyrics
Tom:
Here comes the bride, and there goes the groom
Looks like a hurricane went through this room
Crystal:
Smells like a pool hall, where's my other shoe
And I'm sick and tired of pickin' up after you

Tom:
Looks like you spent the night in a trench
And tell me, how long have you been combin' your hair with a wrench
Crystal:
The roses are dead and the violets are too
And I'm sick and tired of pickin' up after you

Tom:
Well, I've told you before, I won't tell you again
You don't defrost the icebox with a ball point pen
This railroad apartment is held together with glue
And I'm sick and tired of pickin' up after you

Tom:
Because I know I've been swindled, I never bargained for this
What's more, you never cared about me
Crystal:
Why don't you get your own place so you can live like you do
And I'm sick and tired of pickin' up after you

Tom:
Take all your relatives and all of your shoes
Believe me, I'll really swing when you're gone
I'll be living on chicken and wine after we're through
With someone I pick up after you
Crystal:
With someone I pick up after you
Tom:
With someone I pick up after you
Crystal & Tom:
With someone I pick up after you
Page four
Artist: Tom Waits Lyrics
Song: I Beg Your Pardon Lyrics
I'm just a scarecrow without you
Baby, please don't disappear
I beg your pardon, dear

I got a bottle for a trumpet
And a hatbox for a drum
And I beg your pardon, dear

I got upset, I lost my head
I didn't mean the things I said
You are the landscape of my dreams
Darling, I beg your pardon

I'd give you Boardwalk and Park Place
And all of my hotels
I beg your pardon, dear

Please don't go back to St. Louis
Can't you tell that I'm sincere
I beg your pardon, dear

I got upset, I lost my head
I didn't mean the things I said
You are the landscape of my dreams
Darling, I beg your pardon

Artist: Tom Waits, Crystal Gayle Lyrics
Song: This One's From The Heart Lyrics
Tom:
I should go out and honk the horn, it's Independence Day
But instead I just pour myself a drink
It's got to be love, I've never felt this way
Oh baby, this one's from the heart

Crystal:
The shadows on the wall look like a railroad track
I wonder if he's ever comin' back
The moon's a yellow stain across the sky
Oh baby, this one's from the heart

Tom:
Maybe I'll go down to the corner and get a racin' form
But I should prob'ly wait here by the phone
And the brakes need adjustment on the convertible
Oh baby, this one's from the heart

Crystal:
The worm is climbin' the avocado tree
Rubbin' its back against the wall
I pour myself a double sympathy
Oh baby, this one's from the heart

Tom:
Blondes, brunettes, and redheads put their hammer down
To pound a cold chisel through my heart.
But they were nothin' but apostrophes
Oh baby, this one's from the heart

Crystal:
I can't tell, is that a siren or a saxophone?
But the roads get so slippery when it rains
I love you more than all these words can ever say
Oh baby, this one's from the heart





Well PAGE five

Time to conclude this letter I will enclose an envelope, but I think I have to buy more
I did get this e-mail from Jesse

All,

On November 2nd, 8:26 AM, Cody Jesse Kenyon was born. 8 pounds, 14 oz.
20 3/4 " long.

Mom and baby are doing well.

It's a good day -Jesse
And I went out and got a card and enclosed this message
Dear Cody

Welcome to the world, I’m sure you are a little bent out of shape from the journey but I am glad that you arrived safely and all your baggage made it as well. You are probably a little cranky, but hang in there you will see some amazing things and have some really cool experiences.
I am looking forward to meeting you, and I have recently taken up the guitar. You’re old man used to play drums and I am hoping you take up an instrument so we can jam. Metallica will still be on tour in 2014 and I am hoping we can all go and do some headbanging although I will have to shake my cane in jubilation. You have some very cool parents who love you very much. I am typing this because I did not listen to my parents and I have very poor penmanship. To give you an idea of what I look like, have you mom or dad show you the stamp on the envelope. Enclosed is $20.00 to help you start your headbanging fund.

Peace and Love to you little bro

Danny

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Losing a stupid friend can be uplifting

November 2, 2004

Where does evil originate? It may be the product of an unhappy childhood and certainly there are enough unhappy adults that trace it back to their childhood. But in looking at stories involving people who left diaries behind from years ago, it is apparent that abusive treatment, emotional and physical existed from many decades and it is true that some of them became notorious for their crimes as adults. I was in a recent conflict with someone and it originates from there lack of cognitive transactional thinking (they are fucking stupid) and this person makes declinational statements about people and if you disagree with that person then they fall back on 12 language. “I own my own words and you cannot challenge them” fine YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID, now it appears that I have no friend but looking back, they hate god, the opposite sex, everyone is gay but they don’t know it, they are under appreciated, everyone has been molested but are in denial, and this person knows everyone’s problems.

People who have been through recovery talk like an informational but they fail to achieve the desired effect where they own their own problems and don’t use sideways anger to disuse a situation where they are losing an argument. I doubt I will see this person again, they are a little sick and I doubt I could go to the funeral or even feel sorry for anything that happens to them. Pity friends don’t last and I am sorry I allowed it to get to that point. Looking back why did I put up with their crap or their hateful talk, I felt bad for their position in life and I allowed it to seep into my professional life. Today is election day and no matter who wins the world will change and it will remain the same for those who have no power.

Peace to us all
And a peaceful death to others

should have posted on the 31st

October 29, 2004

When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel. - Rabbi Harold Kushner

Adversity introduces a man to himself. - Anonymous

Well I came to work feeling like garbage, and I stayed about an hour and a half, went and got some Benedryl and slept until about 3:30 and MY nose and sinus still hurt. Today is the Halloween party and most of the girls in out area dressed like the 60’s and some of them look really good. Jayne looks like Marlo Thomas and Cindy (who I hear hates me now) looks really good in a long blond wing and her outfit. Flashback to the 60’s, remember the 60’s? I do, I remember the hippies the micro minis, the boots etc

Lunchtime is over and I just spoke to Karen and she asked me if you got the card she sent, she sent it to D-7. Lunch was ok but I am not feeling good. Despite this I will be going to see a show with Doug at Route 66 casino. He got free tickets and we will eat there. I checked the web site and it is very expensive to eat there but the show is free and I will take 30 to gamble, it isn’t a lot to lose, (its my drinking $$$) so I will either win a lot or lose the $$$$ and not have enough to drink until election night. Word has spread of my declaration of shaving my head if Kerry wins and a lot of people have told me they expect me to follow through. I will take several pictures of me bald and I will send them to you as soon as possible, which will probable be the next day. Me head shaved, holding a newspaper of Kerry winning and bush crying.

What a country
It is almost time to go and I have been so busy I have not had time to write you a proper letter although I really haven’t written one in a while. It is very hard to write you a letter because so much that happens is very minute, if I wrote you once a week there may be more to write but I don’t know, I don’ t know about things like that, I’m not a lawyer, politician or therapist…I just play one on TV

Cindy managed to get rid of one of her workers, and she went upstairs and complained and held nothing back as it was her last day. But nothing will happen

November 1, 2004

Well I feel like crap this morning, I’m sneezing and coughing and I have a cold. I miserable and I can’t take any cold tablets because they make me sleepy. And everyone here is bumming me out and they are complete bastards
Today’s quotes
You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. - Leo Aikman

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffet

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself. - Tecumseh, Shawnee Chief

Well the auditors are here in force and they have many questions and they never send the cute auditors to talk with me they send the old bald guys or the ones who don’t speak English and they really do not understand the euphuisms that are common in everyday life. I just went and said hello to Karen and to thank her for the lovely card she sent you, she was on the phone with Wendy and apparently she has a job working with lawyers, I asked what and I was told “she goes down on them, the lawyers”. I don’t know how much truth there is to that but I figure the less I ask the less I can get in trouble

More and more people are asking me about shaving my head, ½ are voting for bush.
I hear that you are stressed; I cannot take you calls here because I am very busy with stuff and there are always auditors in here so I can’t listen. Sorry but I took you call last Wednesday and Saturday so I am taking calls I cannot afford, and I don’t know what else to say. I may be going home in ½ hour and I cannot wait to take some meds and hit the sack.

It is getting time for me to close, I cannot think straight and it is my sickness, I’m stuffy, grouchy, and grumpley. Tonight is supposed to be a night of high comedy as funny people spoof the elections; I think I can be funnier what say you









Behave ok

I got this letter from Michael Moore



Monday, November 1st, 2004
"One Day Left" by Michael Moore
Dear Friends,
This is it. ONE DAY LEFT. There are many things I’d like to say. I’ve been on the road getting out the vote for 51 straight days so I haven’t had much time to write. So I’ve put together a bunch of notes to various groups all in this one letter. Please feel free to copy and send whatever portions are appropriate to your friends and family as you spend these last 24 hours trying to convince whomever you can to show up and vote for John Kerry.
Here are my final words…
To Decent Conservatives and Recovering Republicans:
In your heart of hearts you know Bush is a miserable failure. From having no plan on what to do in Iraq once he conquered Baghdad to the 380 missing tons of explosives that could be used to kill our brave young men and women, this guy doesn’t have a clue how to fight and win a war. You should see the mail I’ve been getting lately from our troops over there. They know how much the Iraqi people hate them. They are sitting ducks anytime they go out on the road. Many believe we are not that far away from a Tet-style offensive inside the Green Zone with hundreds of Americans and Brits killed.
Bush refused to go after and capture Osama bin Laden. He fought, every step of the way, the investigation into the 9/11 attacks. Who on earth would oppose such a thing? If 3,000 people died at your place of work and your boss said we don’t need to find out why or how it happened, he’d be thrown out on his ear. Bush’s behavior after this great tragedy alone is reason enough for his removal.
You already know that George W. Bush is the farthest thing from a conservative. He’s a reckless spender who has run up record-breaking deficits and the biggest debt in our history. He believes in having the government pry into everything from your library records to your bedroom. He has hit you with hidden taxes with his tax cuts for the rich.
I know many of you don’t like Bush, but are unsure of Kerry. Give the new guy a chance. He won’t raise your taxes (unless you are super-rich), he won’t take your hunting gun away, and he won’t make you visit France. He risked his life for you many years ago. He’s asking for the chance to do it again. Scott McConnell at The American Conservative magazine has endorsed him. What more do you need?
To My Friends on the Left:
Okay, Kerry isn’t everything you wished he would be. You’re right. He’s not you! Or me. But we’re not on the ballot – Kerry is. Yes, Kerry was wrong to vote for authorization for war in Iraq but he was in step with 70% of the American public who was being lied to by Bush & Co. And once everyone learned the truth, the majority turned against the war. Kerry has had only one position on the war – he believed his president.
President Kerry had better bring the troops home right away. My prediction: Kerry’s roots are anti-war. He has seen the horrors of war and because of that he will avoid war unless it is absolutely necessary. Ask most vets. But don’t ask someone whose only horror was when he arrived too late for a kegger in Alabama.
There’s a reason Bush calls Kerry the Number One Liberal in the Senate – THAT’S BECAUSE HE IS THE NUMBER ONE LIBERAL IN THE SENATE! What more do you want? My friends, this is about as good as it gets when voting for the Democrat. We don’t have the #29 Liberal running or the #14 Liberal or even the #2 Liberal – we got #1! When has that ever happened?
Those of us who may be to the left of the #1 liberal Democrat should remember that this year conservative Democrats have had to make a far greater shift in their position to back Kerry than we have. We’re the ones always being asked to make the huge compromises and to always vote holding our noses. No nose holding this time. This #1 liberal is not the tweedledee to Bush’s tweedledum.
To Nader Voters:
See the above note.
Ralph’s own party, the Green Party, would not endorse his run this year. That’s because those of us who want to build a third party in this country know that the only way to do this is to build bridges with those who believe in the issues Nader believes in. But not one of those people will sacrifice the chance to remove George W. Bush from the White House on Tuesday. The choice here is clear: do we join with our friends, or do we piss on them?
After the debacle of 2000, the Democrats got smart and abandoned the conservative wing of their party. That’s why 8 of the 9 Democrats in the primaries this year were from the liberal wing. Ralph should take credit for that and declare victory. It’s so sad that he doesn’t realize the good he’s accomplished. But for reasons only known to him, he’s more angry at the Democrats than he is at Bush. He has lost his compass. I worry he has lost his mind. But he still gives a great speech!
And Lila Lipscomb, the mother from Flint who lost her son in Iraq, she still grieves -- as do the mothers of 1,120 others (not to mention the mothers of the 100,000 Iraqis who have died because of Bush’s war). That’s what this election is about. Not Ralph proving some point. Almost none of us on his 2000 advisory group are supporting him this year. His total lack of respect for his best friends should tell all of you something about what he really thinks of you, too.
To the Non-Swing States:
Stop listening to how your vote doesn’t count in this election and that your state is already decided for Kerry or Bush. It is critical that you vote because we not only need to give Kerry the electoral win, but he needs to have a HUGE mandate with an ENORMOUS popular vote victory as well. It will be impossible for him to get anything done for four years if there is no clear mandate. We must not only defeat Bush, we must put a stake in the heart of the right-wing, neo-con movement. If you live in New York, California, Illinois, Texas, the Northeast or the Deep South, you need to vote and you need to bring ten people with you to the polls. If you live in a state where we have the chance to elect the Democrat to the Senate or the House, you need to vote. Turn off the TV. Quit listening to news media that has a vested interest in repeating to you over and over that your vote does not count. It does.
If you have friends or relatives who live in the 30-plus non-swing states, call them and remind them how important it is that Kerry gets a massive popular vote victory.
To Non-Voters:
I understand why you stopped voting. Politicians suck. Nothing ever seems to change. You’re only one vote.
Yes, politicians suck. But so do car salesmen – and that hasn’t stopped you from buying a car. Politicians only respond to the threat of the angry mob also known as the voting public. If most people don’t vote, that’s good news for them ‘cause then they don’t have to answer to the majority.
Almost fifty percent of Americans don’t vote. That means you belong to the largest political party in America – the Non-Voting Party. That means you hold all the power to toss George W. Bush out of the Oval Office. How cool is that?
I believe that we are going to have the largest election turnout in our lifetime tomorrow. You don’t want to miss out on that. The lines at the polls are going to be long and raucous and fun. It is an historic election. You won’t want to say that you were the only one who wasn’t there. Promise me you’ll vote, just this one time.
To All First-Time Voters:
Welcome to the longest running, uninterrupted democracy on earth! You own it. It’s yours.
A few words about how messy it’s going to be tomorrow. The lines are going to be long. Bring your iPods. Better yet, bring a friend or two. The election officials have no clue just how many millions are going to show up at the polls. This will be the largest turnout in our lifetime. They don’t have enough machines. They are going to have to send for more ballots.
And they are going to make it difficult for you to vote. The new law says if this is your first time voting you must bring ID with you that matches the address you are registered at.
If for some reason they can’t find your name on the voting rolls, you have the right to ask for a provisional ballot, which you can fill out and then sort things out later.
If you have any problems at the polling place, please call 1-866-OUR-VOTE. The people there can tell you how to find the precinct where you should be voting, get you legal help if you are denied the right to vote, or answer any other questions you may have.
If you need any help figuring out the ballot, don’t be afraid to ask. If you screw up your ballot, you can ask for another one. In fact, the law allows you to screw up your ballot two times before you finally have to submit your final ballot! Be careful to vote on the line that says John F. Kerry/John Edwards. Don’t vote for more than one Presidential, Senate or House candidate or you ballot won’t be counted. If your polling place has a stub or a receipt from your ballot, make sure they give you one.
Thanks for joining us. Democracy is not a spectator sport. It only works when we all come off the bench and participate.
To African Americans:
First of all, let’s just acknowledge what you already know: America is a country which still has a race problem, to put it nicely. Al Gore would be president today had thousands of African Americans not had their right to vote stolen from them in Florida in 2000.
Here is my commitment: I will do everything I can to make sure that this will not happen again. And I’m not the only one making this pledge. Thousands of volunteer lawyers are flying to Florida to act as poll watchers and intervene should there be any attempts to deny anyone their right to vote. They will NOT be messing around.
For my part, I have organized an army of 1,200 professional and amateur filmmakers who will be armed with video cameras throughout the states of Florida and Ohio. At the first sign of criminality, we will dispatch a camera crew to where the vote fraud is taking place and record what is going on. We will put a big public spotlight on any wrongdoing by Republican officials in those two states. They will not get away with this as they did in 2000.
In Ohio, the Republicans are sending almost 2,000 paid “poll challengers” into the black precincts of Cleveland in an attempt to stop African Americans from voting. This action is beyond despicable. Do not let this stop you from voting. I, and thousand of others, will be there to fight for you and protect you.
To George W.:
I know it’s gotta be rough for you right now. Hey, we’ve all been there. “You’re fired” are two horrible words when put together in that order. Bin Laden surfacing this weekend to remind the American people of your total and complete failure to capture him was a cruel trick or treat. But there he was. 3,000 people were killed and he’s laughing in your face. Why did you stop our Special Forces from going after him? Why did you forget about bin Laden on the DAY AFTER 9/11 and tell your terrorism czar to concentrate on Iraq instead?
There he was, OBL, all tan and rested and on videotape (hey, did you get the feeling that he had a bootleg of my movie? Are there DVD players in those caves in Afghanistan?)
Speaking of my movie – can I ask you a personal question before we part ways for good on Tuesday? Why did you and your friends fund SIX “documentaries” trashing me -- but only ONE film against Kerry? C’mon, he was the candidate, not me. What a waste of your time and resources! Sure, I know what your pollsters told you, that the film had convinced some people to vote you out. I just want you to know that that was not my original intent. Funny things happen at the movies. Hope you get to see a few at the multiplex in Waco. It’s a great way to relax.
To John Kerry:
Thank you.
And don’t worry – none of us are going away after you are inaugurated. We’ll be there to hold your hand and keep you honest. Don’t let us down. We’re betting you won’t. So is the rest of the world.
That’s it. See you at the polls – and at the victory party tomorrow night.
Yours,
Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
MMFlint@aol.com

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

1/2 of letter 11 to a friend

October 26, 2004

Have not received the inspirational note for today as of yet. Could not sleep woke up at 4:00 again, it think it is too hot the temperatures have been mild or have not penetrated my windows and the apartment stays in the mid 70 and the fan is not enough to do the job. More problems on the horizon, a few weeks ago I lost a battle on a procedure and a decision was made, apparently the person who won the battle has reversed herself and has gone to the method I recommended. We had completed the paper work, and were in the process of mailing it out. We had to retract it and we are basically in a spitting contest with another section and no one wants to sit in the same room and poor Steve gets to resolve it.

Lunchtime
And I had a Frito pie, which was only moderately satisfying, they had a special $2 but added $050 for garnish, which is way too high but they only make money on the garnish. I find that hard to believe but I think they must be losing money because they have been pushing items including Jewelry (don’t even ask), which I refused to even look at unless it is made by child labor. People are very jumpy now and there seems to be a culture of fear around Richard. I don’t understand why. There are changes afoot and I think I told you that we may be going to a swipe card and everyone has to use their swipe card, which will log in the time when they come in and leave. This is essentially a time clock and many are not very happy about it. The people I am mad at I am sending negative energy at and it does not seem to be working.

The election is a week away and with every day I am more hopeful, almost everyone knows that if Kerry wins I will shave my head, (I did tell you right) I was gonna keep a rats tail but I am too old to do that and It may make me look like a OG from the south valley ese.

10 minutes to me being sir-works-a lot, and it doesn’t suit. All the water I drink make me pee and my urine has no color, is that a good thing?

Well, Guerra came over and asked what the problem and told me that I was mistaken about my memory and that Steve agreed with me and I asked Austin city Limits and she flat out lied. No more Mr nice guy.

1/2 hour ago Brunetta confronted me and we started to odd manning and I didn’t want to do it there so I told her that there is a meeting planned later and she said there was not going to be a meeting later and I became a bit of a smart ass it was like we were in the 6th grade.

So people come up to me and tell me right on, but I go talk to fungos are fun and it appears that cookies is telling everybody what they want to hear. Now he has a real problem, I will finish tomorrow as I’m sure you can hardly wait to see how it plays out.

Letter 10 to a friend

October 25, 2004
Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. - Aristotle
You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. - Stanislaw J. Lec
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. - Thomas Dewey

12:10pm

What a bunch of crap huh, although I would change the Dewey one to “Men are like parachutes they only function when deployed”

Just got your call, I didn’t sleep well again, but I don’t feel tired, I came to work at about 7:00 to get an early start and there was a problem and I lost everything that I had been working on. Did you like the stamp? It was very expensive to get made. So I have been putting fires out this morning. It is eerily quiet here. There is not much visiting going on up front, and Daniel hasn’t been as much a purveyor of nastiness as usual. There is a Kerry rally downtown tomorrow and I may find my way to it. I am more hopeful as more information comes out about how incompetent Bush is. There is some news so I will include it below.

WASHINGTON -- United States Chief Justice William Rehnquist is in the hospital being treated for thyroid cancer.
In a statement, the Supreme Court said the 80-year-old jurist spent the weekend in Bethesda Naval Hospital and had a tracheotomy on Saturday.
The Supreme Court is not meeting this week and Rehnquist is expected back on the bench when the court returns to work next Monday.
He has had a series of health problems. In 2002, he missed several sessions after hurting his knee in a fall.
President Richard Nixon appointed Rehnquist to the court.

If Bush wins, he retires when the current term is over, this will push up the ante on women voters, I haven’t sent a cartoon in a while

I may send one soon


There is a new Ozzy web site and they have places for you to review every show Ozzy has ever done so I may review the show in 1978 that I saw with my sister serty. They will give prizes to every posting placed so I may end up writing all the time to the website. I ate some red chili for lunch and I don’t feel too good, it was probably a bad move but I was in the mood for a tamale. For breakfast I ate the rest of the shrimp fried rice from that Chinese place on Karl island. I was good and avoided the Chilidogs that are on sale but the rice didn’t go down too good and it may have been the fact that it was 4:00 in the morning and I couldn’t sleep, I had some orange soda to go with it and it was diet soda, NEAT ! I may actually have to make some kind of dinner but I don’t have the inclination to do it tonight
Page one
Page two

Lunch is about over and people are starting to file in to the abyss, I anticipate the darkness soon as it gets dark earlier as you are well aware of And I like the darkness except with all the lights from the clocks, TV, VCR it really isn’t that dark and maybe that is why I have a hard time sleeping

3:45pm
One of the temps who works here (there are lots of temps now which is a potential problem, one way to permanently reduce the workforce is to not rehire lower level employees) said hello barely above a whisper, and I leaned down and she told me that mushmouth sin fax urban has put out the word that she talks too loud, which is the same shit he pulled on me and I wonder how many others he has said that to. I wish he would just come out and say to not talk around his office.

Geez it is time to go
It may be cold outside it may not be cold but it is 4:55 and this will be another brief letter, I still think I should space them out.

But here it is time to go

peace

Sunday, October 24, 2004

letter to the friend #9

October 24, 2004

It is 1:00 pm and I am doing my laundry and watching a 6 hour documentary about WWI. They are about to get to the Red Barron. Lobos won last night and the red sox won the first game of the World Series. I got another letter yesterday it is one where you told me that you got pictures of me with and w/o my hair cut
The letter is dated 10.20

I see where you have no desire to panhandle and use ever again. I hope that this is true, but you should not be smoking at all, you will lose what little privileges you have and you need to lose that aspect of you life where you are getting away with something. You may be bummer about missing the summer but I worked all this summer and while I did go to Chicago it cost a bundle. Here I was by a statue of Harry Carey right outside the ballpark
The election will happen very soon and it cannot happen soon enough. I cannot take the political ads anymore and I am slowly getting really pissed off at both sides except that the Republicans are the biggest assholes and it is very irritating that no one sees it.

I actually went out this morning and got something to eat, I went to golden chicken and got some green chili stew and I had forgotten how good it is. If I have the temperament to see you when you get out and you can make it through the first few days I will have to take you to the frontier restaurant. I was going to the movies but I went shopping and did laundry and it is already 2:30 and I am tired and I know if I go out again I will have to buy some hooch.

Philadelphia and Cleveland are in OT right now the Eagles have the ball and are driving McNabb just threw the ball 50 yards in the air and the receiver had it knocked away at the last second. It is Cleveland ball. 15 yards for Garcia who has been called the ugliest player in the NFL and a former player has said he is gay despite this Garcia has dated playboy bunnies. A series of bad plays leaves them 4th down and a yard to go, they will go for it. No it is a hard count, TO be called and it remains to be seen if they will punt, they do and an eagle bounce leaves them just beyond the 20. Dallas and Green Bay are tied 3-3 in the 1st. McNabb just went for a 40 yard run and they are close to being in FG range. What will happen? Quien Sabe? Pass to the 45 and they need 10 more yards to be at the edge of Fg range but I think they will go for the TD. But wait, Holding number 89. the eagles are pushed back, a couple of runs picks up 18 and they are in the kickers range and the will likely go for the td now, confusion forces McNabb to call a TO because the 25 second clock was running out, Ohhhhhhh pass almost intercepted, what was McNabb doing? Ok Akers comes out for the FG, 50 yards attempt. The snap the kick, it is good Eagles stay undefeated; the Browns hang their head in shame and walk off their field defeated.

Back to your letter
You can be funny sometimes saying I cut my hair or two, and I did not vote three times but I don’t talk about it anymore (by the way Angela’s birthday is Wednesday) because people just stair at me and a few don’t even acknowledge my existence. I don’t care so when I am in their area on a work topic I try to be as loud as possible and the person I am talking to have a hard time keeping from laughing.

I am glad you like my letters but it is hard to write every day and to be thoughtful. I have notions in my head but I cannot get them on paper. If I can stay off the hooch then maybe my head will clear. I have a hard time sleeping and I am afraid of becoming dependent on my leg kick meds. I may drop back to 1 mg and try to avoid any kind of caffeine.

Why are you drinking so much coffee? And what id up with the body lotion, is it a luxury that helps you stay in there? Coffee is a bad liquid but I hear it is good for an enema.

The fact that most people in there can not read or write should not be a surprise to you, it is a big problem and it is hard for many of the people in there to get a job with 1) a record, 2) cannot read, and 3) no experience. You are very lucky your dad supports you, what would you have done if your dad was a file clerk? You cannot expect your dad to keep opening his wallet to cover your expenses beyond your SSI.

Do you want me to mail that ministry thing for you, what is your address I don’t have it anymore and I don’t want to be on their mailing list. Maybe when you get out you can join that church down the road that is getting its members ready for the end of the world. I hope you remember to keep the stamp and I will put a note on the outside of the envelope. It is a long story on how I got the stamp but I hope you get to keep it or at least see it, pretty funny huh? If you didn’t get to see it I will have to figure something out I may take a picture of the envelope---------------------------------------***** Look just below the stars

Time to go, Have a nice week behave

Danny

Friday, October 22, 2004

Letter to a friend 7 in the am

October 22, 2004

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

I’m glad you enjoyed the phone call last night, I had a hard time sleeping, and I woke up at 4:30 and I tried to sleep and I must have drifted on and off because before I knew it, it was 7:00. Last night before you called I went to Wal-mart to see if they has a shower chair, I would like to sit down and let the warm water cascade off my head. It is a relaxing and meditation technique. They had a chair but it was $43.00 and only supported 250 lbs. That is too close and I would look stupid if I hurt my self by a collapsing chair. I sit on the floor of the shower and it is hard to lift myself up after I feel sufficiently relaxed.

11:20am
Forgot to put the start time, I’m sorry you had to pay the 18 cents to get the last letter, I really did weight the letter but from now on if it is close I will put the extra stamp on it. I may go to the movies and see “the motorcycle diaries” it is about Che Guevara before he became a revolutionary in Cuba and South America.

12:25pm
Once again I am worried that you are way too giddy with expectation as to what will happen when you get out. xxfriendxx, we have a long history but we are very different people both in age and level of acceptance of our place. I just do not see any future until (from my standpoint) I am happy with myself, and that could be years (weight, job, finances) and on your end well your addiction and what drives your self-destruction. I miss getting high but I don’t have the drive to act on it, at least from the standpoint of weed, I do use alcohol in an abusive manner and I can monitor it at the current time. I don’t want you to get pissed off just before you get out and you fuck up your first day out, and I don’t want the responsibility of giving you any illusion about our future or I want to limit how much you can count on me. Things are different.

The election is still close and Kerry should be pulling away, I think he blew it, and even if he wins he will be in a bad situation. If Bush wins the world will be in a bad situation. My analysis tells me that there will be a major bombing but I don’t know if it will be in America or in Europe, I’m thinking it will be the UK and it will be bad. Watch for a Halloween target date, all souls day would be better, but if kids are targeted it will be very bad, that is why I think it will be a weekend and probably not a civilian target.

One time xxguyxx got a visitor and I horned in on the conversation and xxguyxx gave me that look that guys give for the other to beat it, she is married but I don’t think Daniel will care. I council him on the perils of dating or screwing someone he works with. But he didn’t listen to me and I don’t think he ever will. Hell I don’t listen to anyone. I did put out a fire today and I did it for Edwin but it was set up to look like Edwin had the situation in control and he kind of did I was just the contact man and if Camille had been here two days ago she would have been doing it.

xxgirlxx got me a shot glass from Jamaica , it looks pretty cool, this is enough for now I must post

Monday, October 18, 2004

Letter to a friend 4 or is it 5 or 6

October 18, 2004 s/I 7

If you find in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
- Maya Angelou
If you can dream it, you can do it.
- Walt Disney
Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.
- Voltaire

8:30am
I forgot the handwritten letter at home so I will have to mail it either tonight or tomorrow, if I can make it to the gym it will be tonight. I hope you are happy PC’ing yourself. I was very frustrated with you concerning the envelopes. I suppose I’d prefer a long letter every couple of days than a short one every day. I gave you those envelopes to write your father, and me but if you can use them for creature comforts then it is all the same to me. You better not be using them for smokes as I don not condone that kind of activity when you are supposed to be preparing for an honest life on the outside. I had a terrible time sleeping last night and as a result I am sleepy but I did manage to sleep a few hours so I will not feel the effects for a while. I lost part of the tennis elbow brace and I am wearing the brace and debating whether or not to get a new one.

9:38am
I just hit the wall, one of my downloads crashed while I was trying to save it. I got one of the printouts so it isn’t a total disaster. I am in serious danger of nodding off. I wonder why I can’t sleep. Part of it might be the noise that the Cpap makes or the noise of the fan. I really do not care either way. I just want to sleep. I wonder how you fill your days? Do you just sit on the bunk and talk to others in PC, or do you just keep to yourself and write letters and re read the letters I send. You mentioned that you wee going to try to read the bible from beginning to end. How is that going? If you are still trying to do it then it must be very hard. I could not do it. I still do not understand your plan on what you will do once you get out, it may no longer be my business and it may never have been my business, but how will you stay on the straight and narrow. On thing while I can still concentrate, avoid the calls please. I get too aggravated, and it puts me in a bad mood. The letter I forgot I never finished and will mail as is, the goodwill I felt went away after I hung up. I remember when you used to call before I couldn’t take anymore I would stay on the phone until the time was up and the call would end with me telling you when I would visit. I can’t visit and I can’t talk to you for 15 minutes. Things have changed, (its not even 10:00 and I want to curl up and take a nap today will be hard)

10:52
Just came back from a walk, it is definitely fall, the coolness of the air I felt is replaces by the beads of sweat rolling off my forehead (when I was a kid every time I head someone talking about their forehead, I thought they meant they had four heads and I always wondered which head is in charge, when I hit puberty I found out which one was in charge) like I ran a marathon and I barely walked ¾ of a mile. I pretty much suck don’t I, I can’t take care of myself, I can’t provide the emotional or moral support you need, and I don’t want your help. I’m really lost and to become unlost I need to determine where I am and where I need to go.

11:55
My cowboy stew it being nuked as we speak, I have been trying to make stuff lately and go through my cupboard and avoid bean burritos, chili dogs, and dollar burgers. If I stay home thee is less likely a chance I will buy Hooch, I have also avoided lottery tickets even though there is an exciting new game from the Lottery called 4 your way but I call it 4 on the floor, because you win in reverse order and can win as much a 4000 dollars, my head hurts from lack of sleep and I wonder how much longer can I still be productive. The food absolutely sucked, I tried to fit it all in he little glad ware and as a result it did not reheat properly and I made a mess trying to stir it around so it is hot and cold at the same time and cold beans and rice with lukewarm chicken does not cut it, thee is fudge outside the cubical and I may partake of it to get some kind of energy.

1:40
I only have a few minutes I am waiting for a call on info I requested. I ended up speaking politics with @#$%^&*( for most of the lunch hour. It is very scary, Bush is still hanging around and Kerry isn’t responding properly. His only chance right now is to win the 8 states he needs and he is tied with Bush. It looks like Kerry has conceded the popular vote and it looks skewed, like he is losing when he may pull it off.

3:00
The baseball game starts in a few minutes, but I have lost a lot of love for any sports, since the cubs aren’t in it and I don’t watch much pro football anymore, I really don’t care either way. I would like to see the Red Sox win it this year, hoping it would inspire the cubs to pull it off next year but that is a iffy proposition at best. The powers that be do not know how to be in charge, instead of directly saying that there is too much visiting up front, there are signs that say “This is a confidential area, please do not discuss personal business” and “This is a confidential area please do not treat it as a break area”, nothing is said to anyone, I guess expecting us to read the signs, here is the weird thing. No one really notices them but if one of the secretaries stops me and asks me a question I get the dirty looks. He don’t like me and I don’t care because we don’t even say hello when we pass each other, since we don’t talk I can’t get in trouble like I have with others who share their personal opinions with me and it degenerates into a argument.

Anyway it is now 4:50
Time to call it quits, I hope you can behave, I hope you can get by without a call

Peace

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

It is important to make sure you post everything

Today is Columbus day
When I was a kid, we got the day off in the same day every year, before Monday became the holiday, I heard he was a historic man, a great man....

It wasn't until High School I learned of what really happened, I wondered why Hispanics from the Caribbean were black and didn't look like other Native Americans, I remember that Columbus thought he was in India, he called them Indians.

They all died
to replace them,
they got slaves and taught them Spanish

This holiday should go, replace it with 9/11 as a national day or mourning, heritage, and freedom. A denouncing of those who would divide us in the name of Patriotism

Happy death to Native Americans Day

George Bush must be defeated

If you look at zero you see nothing;
but look through it and you will see the world.

- Robert Kaplan

When there is a professional confrontation with someone who is a friend but not necessarily a bud, there is an element of (push me)-(pull you) the mythical character in that horrible movie of the 60’s. If that other person is a woman then the hurt feelings go beneath the surface and simmer. It is a no win situation. I hate my job and I see a my element of happiness will not get any better and the failure of retraining worries me to the point I see reassignment in the future or the predictions of my big mouth getting me in trouble.

Michael Moore was here and it was an amazing experience, not from the standpoint that to was “THE MICHAEL MOORE” but to see a political rally and each subsection dressed in different colour shirts jumping at different points of the speech. It was amazing to me to see that many young people joining together. I hope they can pull it off. From any standpoint and any viewpoint it would be a horrendous thing to see the idiot in for 4 more years, more so that even Reagan, although if bush wins it would prove that anyone can be president even if you don’t have a brain, or have Alzheimer’s, as long as you pander to the 9000 or so people that run the world. People don’t see who Al Quada really wanted to hurt

George Bush must be defeated

Monday, October 11, 2004

Is this working or what

are these posts happening or just an illusion

When did it all go bad

George bush must be defeated

Anyway so much for the old days

I didn’t understand your message, the message was something about moving but I just checked and you do not appeared to have moved anywhere except maybe get more room. More room is more problems I managed to make something to eat, go shopping, get oil change, and enjoy the rainstorm.
I’m really tired, and I am waiting to take my meds a little while. It is 7:15 and there isn’t much on TV and I really dread going back to school, I mean work. I hate going back after a little time off. There will be much work waiting, I will be much busy. I really don’t care about much except getting the tasks done and trying to not piss off anyone but not let them take advantage of any situation. Maybe it is the waiting for the election maybe it is the weight.

I’ve been thinking about buying a chair for the shower so I can sit and let the water cleanse me of my sins and my filth. It is too hard to sit and stand up. My knees are shit. My brain is mush. I want booze but I know that I can’t succumb to the temptations, I should have stuck to beer, but that hard stuff hits the spot that covers the ugliness and the pain and the failures.

I knew why Little John Drank himself into oblivion I knew why he had the taste, but I didn’t understand why he still believed it would all go away. I remember him attacking the bottle, I swear when he was in the zone, as he took each drink just as it hit his lips. I swear his flesh went away and I saw his skull. It is weird what we remember. This morning I didn’t sleep and I saw the dawn creep into the room and I was mentally going over which of the phone number I remembered was his and I took off the machine and grabbed the phone to call him before I remembered what happened.

It is very hard to forget the smell of the room where he blew off his head, and seeing the bits of brain against the wall

Michael Moore is awesome
Team America is wonderfully wicked, but it had no point. I found the acting wooden and the believability of the Script hung by a thread

I am enjoying the National anthem: The concert for change tour on the sundance channel

George Bush must be defeated and the Dixie Chicks should get to play as they drive away forever.


Friday, October 08, 2004

3rd letter to a old lover

October 7, 2004
I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being.- Hafiz Another morning another challenge, in efforts to streamline efforts, the Department is asking for a concise statement of duties and the actual time spend performing those duties. This is part of the effort to correctly tie in costs to grants, but it is also an effort to reassign duties and personnel as directed by a faction of what I call the old wives club against the young girls club. As is per my normal lot in life I am caught in the middle. Normally I don't mind but the cubicles are rather short, (about 5 feet) and when someone complains to me about someone else, the voices carry and I get it from both sides and not in a good way.
There is word of an attack on a hotel in Baghdad interrupting a wedding party; it is the insurgents, terrorists, or a jilted suitor. I wonder because I am fascinated by revenge, how mad can a woman get. Like if on of the bush twins got knocked up by Michael Moore in revenge for screwing up their lives. The best example of revenge by a chick has to be the Late Lisa Left eye, who burned down her boyfriend's mansion, like what did he do. The fact that he got together with her again before her death is either a testament to fear or Lisa's special talent (and it ain't singing).
What would you do or what have you done to get your revenge upon myself

Lyrics to a song that used to remind me of you

Apologies to Dion and the belomonts
Each time we have a quarrel, it almost breaks my heart,
Cause I'm so afraid that we will have to part
,Each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?
One day I feel so happy, next day I feel so sad.
I guess I'll learn to take the good with the bad.
Cause each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?
I cried a tear for nobody but you,
I'll be a lonely one, if you should say we're through.
Well, if you want to make me cry,
that won't be so hard to do.
And if you should say goodbye,
I'll still go on loving you.
Each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?
I cried a tear for nobody but you,
I'll be a lonely one, if you should say we're through.
Well, if you want to make me cry, that won't be so hard to do.
And if you should say goodbye,
I'll still go on loving you.
Each night I ask the stars up above,
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Why must I be a teenager in love? (In love)

Piss off ----you fucked up my life

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

second letter from the overlord to the inmate

October 6, 2004

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and I could say, "I used everything that you gave me."- Erma Bombeck

I got your letter last night and I heard you call and if you think that it is best for you to be there then by all means stay there. You don’t need to be connected to any illegal activity.

Just took your call and don’t count on it happening again because I am going to hear about it when the charge appears on the phone list. I didn’t drink last night (which is a victory) but I had the taste for it. I don’t know how I sunk so far down the list of things I would never do.

Tonight will be tough but I might go to the movies

I almost came to blows with $$$$$$$, he insists he is 6’ foot even and he appears to me to be about 5’11 ¾and we started arguing and he got a ruler and marked off 6 feet. Someone measured him and he hit the mark exactly, I then asked him about his shoes which were still on. I then asked him to produce his license, which listed him at 5’1. They had to separate us and he is in a meeting right now. I convinced him that falsifying information on a Government issued document is a fourth degree felony and I had an obligation to turn him in and since he has a state government job. He would be in jeopardy of losing his job if convicted of being 6’ feet tall.

I may have told the wrong person that I voted three times, since I used the $$$$$$$$ $$$$'s address I could be accused of using a state job to establish a residence, but since they cannot prove I registered here until after the election, and the County clerk would be hesitant to admit I voted three times and their security was that bad on opening day. I should be ok. But they are threatening to contact the Journal “speak out” and rat me out by using my initials, which isn’t so bad, but they would use the $$$$$$$ $$$$ initials which would be bad.

I really feel like a drink right now and I wonder if it is the guacamole in the taco salad because I have a hankering for tequila. I don’t understand the nature of my feelings for you, work and other things. In one sense I feel creative but I have no outlet for it, maybe that is why I feel the need for drink, to release in some sense the juices that have been slowly drying up.

$$$$$$$$$$ once again is trying to convince me he is 6 foot tall and related a story I will have to tell you some day

Many people are gone. It is after 4:00, $$$$$%%$ just told me she doesn’t want me talking about Team America anymore in her presence because it bothers her, and I wonder if she has a thing about puppets. (I’m just kidding about $$$$$$$$$) Maybe a hand puppet or one with strings scared her when she was a kid

Time to close out, keep safe and I hope you get the envelopes, call me and say ‘I got the envelopes’ I sent 9, 5 on Monday 4 on Tuesday

B-Have
&&&&&&&

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Letter to a friend

George Bush must be defeated
this letter has been edited for recognition
October 5, 2004

As is only common in the area, whenever there is any kind of important public event, an event that is outdoors, you can always cont on the weather to be absolute horrendous. Last night there was a hailstorm that I cannot properly describe, except I waited for a tornado warning that never came. The noise was so loud, the hail hitting the Swamp cooler, that I had to turn he TV way up and also didn’t sleep a wink.

I think about you in the darkness, the hum of the air conditioner droning on and I wonder if you are awake or if you are sleeping soundly, knowing you are safe. I went shopping and bought tomatoes onions and a potato to make a healthy meal. While stopping to get a lotto ticket I saw some very cheap whisky and got the cheapest cola intending to have one drink to relax. I make the food and watched reruns of Curb you enthusiasm and OZ, listening to the hail storm waiting for the roof to cave in or a tornado warning to appear on TV I inadvertently drained the entire bottle, and I don’t feel well, I didn’t sleep well and it is a good thing there was a hailstorm otherwise I would be the only one dragging around. Apparently no one got any sleep last night so I am not the only one who looks like Keith Richards, I am the only one who feels like Keith Richards.

This morning the light was flashing on the Caller ID and I checked and there were 10 messages, I was scared something had happened and I had slept through the phone messages. The messages were all old and went back to last Wednesday and there were two messages from you from this weekend so while you did leave them they were no delivered until this morning.

Early voting starts today and I am going to walk downtown and vote to get it out of the way. The Vice president debates are tonight and Michael Moore will be in town Sunday night and the tickets are 5 bucks. Today ***** turns 40. ********** came into town and left a mess and left town. The kids are very upset and ********** is a wreck

Since I feel like hell I will close now and enclose some envelopes but I will not be sending anymore for a while, I will still try to write. I pray I won’t give into temptation and buy some more hooch. I am sinking into ***** ******’s world and I don’t like being at his level. I can almost understand your demon. Please try to not lecture or I will no longer share. Do not tell ******* or ********* but if you are in a group and feel the need to talk about it then by all means go ahead. I think you understand why we cannot be “Togeather” anymore

Sleep well
A younger version of myself is trying to contact me.

George Bush Must be defeated

Monday, October 04, 2004

Moore is coming, and I have nothing to eat

October 4, 2004

George bush must be defeated

Another day in paradise perpetuated by my never-ending quest to get a decent night sleep, the Cpap mask is hurting and the new one basically sux. I am getting indentions under my nose and micro pimple white heads clustered around the stubble of lazy shaving. The mornings are cool and there is a whiff of moisture in the air and the dawn of sunrise has the air of hope. The leaves are turning a golden hue and the lawns are sprouting political signs of every venue. I am encouraged by the polls but there is a long way to go. I was embarrassed by the performance of the president and wonder how much of the world mocks the bumbling leader of the free world while oppressing the people of Iraq, you gotta want to be a cop real bad considering how often they get blown up. Or as they say in Texas “They done got blowed up real good”

The weight battle moves on, I see temptation at every street. There are $0.99 burgers at every corner, extra big burritos only $1.29, Biscuits and gravy galore, extra large fries, BBQ Ribs, Extra crispy Chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy (extra butter). But no, you can’t have any of that, Broiled chicken, fresh vegetables, water, no booze.

I have a $5.00 five-foot mirror, cheap but effective and I am still shocked every time I walk in front of it, the imminence of my belly is astounding, yet I have no ass, I have huge love handles, but no ass, bad knees, bad back. No more burgers

Legumes, fruit, fish (baked) BTW how the hell do you cook fish on a George Forman Grill, steamed veggies, I wish I could eat veggie’s but I just cant, steamed, fried, boiled. Can’t stand them

I just heard word of Michael Moore’s visit to here, Tickets are $5.00 I have to go there, I just have to but I can’t get any info, they say call the bookstore, I call the bookstore and a woman (who must be a Fascist Republican) spewed out the ticket office number which contradicts the radio ad and she cut me off before I could ask questions. Is it Conspiracy or my reaction to rude clerks? HMMMMMMM

End transmission

George Bush must be defeated

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Revenge of the Civics Teachers

September 30, 2004

George Bush must be defeated

The debates are tonight and I’m still puzzled as to why it is so close, I was discussing it with someone near the end of the day and a passerby voiced her opinion that she will vote for bush and the other person asked why and she said “Because he has good morals” I asked her what morals she is referring to and she retorted “you have no morals” which is funny and didn’t upset me, cause I can take a joke. I didn’t say anything back because I’m in enough trouble and this person is still ma at me for a prior argument where she felt I made her sound stupid, which was not my intent but a 12 yr old who reads would give me a better argument.

But that is not the point, I’m just venting because while I love arguing with a 5 yr old (being called a stupid dodo head cracks me up every time) it isn’t fun if the 5 yr old is actually in their 50’s

The point is that most people have no idea why they are voting one way or another. People vote one way because they are scared that the sky is falling and the other side votes one way because the current coconut is taking more stupid pills, but the opposition selects the absolute worst person to go against him

Its very discouraging if I wasn’t so fat I’d be very depressed about the current state of affairs in stead of being depressed about my weight, drinking, career, love life, aging, creativity and debt.

The absolute worst federal holiday is on the horizon, the battle is enjoined tonight, and I got up hours before dawn to get a haircut before work. Thank god for traditional Barbers

George Bush must be defeated

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Isn't it fun to really get under the skin of a supervisor

September 29, 2004

George Bush must be defeated

Pissing off an employer or supervisor is not a pleasant task, when you are a civil service worker it can become an ordeal. First of all I have to admit culpability because several people have warned me that some of my “stories” are way out there and I can be loud (I have been referred to get my hearing checked, but I’m beyond the music motto “if its too loud you’re too old” but thee could be permanent damage). But what gets me is that there is this process that has to be followed. The supervisor in question is rather distant and cold but he has personal tragedy for which I respect but a simple “hey keep it down” goes a long way rather than keeping a mental log and lashing out at the Three supervisors above me who have no clue as to what is going on and delegating the news to me.

I think it is the content and not the fact that I was talking to some coworkers because I’m the only one who got mentioned, thee are fairly conservative people here, and some are in on the gag that I have aligned my self with Satan and I did so when I was 18 and couldn’t find my keys, (years ago I used the word Weed instead of Keys, but that was a different era), some aren’t and give me their bible spiel. I always ask them to show me where the Author’s name is and as you can imagine there is no humor about it.

Doomsday predictions scare people even if they are dumb and any believer doesn’t like it. Yet they always vote for the doomsayer, believing I suppose that Jesus will be waiting for them when Locusts of fire rain upon their home. I only comment that with Hurricanes, earthquakes, and volcanoes making their appearance, this could be it.

Not Funny
More not funny, no supervisor is aware of my stories or the crowd that likes my stories, probably because some supervisors are part of the crowd. Or to the point that only the Top peeled banana for this corner o the building feels that there is a problem. Why anyone who puts up signs reminding us that “we are there to work” without specifically naming the problem, which could be done without naming names, is mystified why those signs are ignored after a few weeks is beyond me.

I understand about budgets but you would think it was the last days of Enron, I could be more professional but it isn’t in me. It could be the weight, the drinking, or the feeling that I know deep inside that I should be doing something else. I would not say I have a bad attitude because I get my tasks done and am willing to help others (which probably saves my ass) but I could do better.

Debates tomorrow, Kerry better pull it off and he better get a skin peel because if He looks like a dreamcycle he is toast

Once again is it me or does Bush look like Alfred E Newman, aren’t his eyes way too close together
George Bush must be defeated

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Blog me Beethoven

George Bush must be defeated

As part of my endless attempt to reconnect neurons destroyed by unsupervised LSD experiments, when I was far too young to appreciate either the high or long-term effects. I purchased a few classical CD’s to jolt my creativity. I selected Beethoven’s 9th for 4 bucks at a cd place that sold used music. I wondered how desperate would someone have to be to sell used classical CD’s. That’s a high I don’t want to chase.

I also ordered the soundtrack to “immortal beloved” and an accompanying soundtrack. I am a severe novice to classical, as well as other music. (I’m of the belief that Metallica sold their soul to the devil after “and justice for all” to get fans). I see why people would sit in a concert hall dressed up listening to about a hundred musicians playing. While it is very pleasant to the ears I don’t fell any smarter, creative, or enabled. I do feel like I went to another place like when I first heard Dark side of the Moon on a FM station about 30 years ago.

I’m still eating a lot and my body won’t allow for minimal working out but I haven’t inhaled a quart of Whisky for a week or so but I still feel the need as the person I thought would be my better half is still banging her head against my will to compose my self. Active Substance Abuse users will do anything to keep contact with a human being or someone who doesn’t have the intense desire to suck on a glass tube and sell their soul to get the high. More fruit and water for my enlarged prostrate, more fiber to become regular. I can’t believe the conversations I have with people my age, and I’m not even 50. How did I go from a kid with a brilliant future to a career lower management man with limited resources? Booze, pot, TV and overestimation of my brilliance I believe. So it goes

Hurricanes to the right, Volcanoes to the north, Earthquakes to the left, and god only knows what will happen to the south, except it will be blamed on the Mexicans.

Work must be done, papers must be moved, time must be shuffled


George Bush must be defeated