Back in jail-Louie takes me home

November 26, 2008

At what point does aggravation set in? When do you dismiss the past, or a ghostly apparition thereof?
It is thanksgiving eve, and gf is back in jail, and by gf I suppose I don’t mean GF, or beloved, she got out week ago, after promising the old judge she would be good, and spending 4 months in jail costing me money, time, and reversible phone charges. Her father is visiting better behaved family, as far as I know. I have spent a total of about three hours with her since she got out, I knew she would be tempted but I thought she had betters sense than to be walking around grabbing attention, she even called me saying cops were following her and she didn’t listen to spend time with me or to stay home, she was getting 30 dollars a day why so much? Well she called and can get out for 250.00 and beat the charge, which is not serious because she will be a CI and I told her no, hell no, and dressed her down for not lasting a week. I think she is gone, or rather has been gone. Her decision to avoid me, and in her eyes do nothing wrong, tells me she and I are no more. Truthfully it’s been 3-4 years. And I get nothing out of it except the self loathing.

Tomorrow is thanksgiving, and I have about 4 days to finally clean the apartment, I have pissed away 4 days with drink, laziness, and moral wantonness. Recharge the batteries, clean the clothes, start with the kitchen and head into the weekend with a sense of accomplishment and wonder and a beginning anew, gf will be ready to come out by then and a visit out to the jail with money in the leavings will make thing right, tho I believe I ‘m owed right near 2000.00, or maybe 500.00, how much I don’t know, but I am listening to you tube of Louie Armstrong from the Jazz series. Amazing, brilliant, and long before I was born. I’ll always have Metallica