Adventures of the DA

Suicide calls from the DA are much like a falling star, much excitement at first, but after many years of them they can be interesting, they lost their luster.
Yesterday when I went to pick up the DA she said she needed a ride to Crumb ____ the dealer who broke her window , she asked for the money I had for her public defender and bus ride and I declined and told her we have to go. She wasn’t dressed nice but I let it go, as we started she said she had to go to the dealer because she needed a hit before we left. I stopped the car and told her to get out, she started yelling and I got out of the car and screamed “get out of the car I am not taking you to buy crack, I am taking you to court” she refused and I pulled out the money and threw it in the yard, when she went to get it I locked the door and drove off .

She called and told me that she pleaded not guilty, and a court date was set and she faced 90 days. After work she called and said the police gave her a traffic ticket for something and she signed the guilty line and her fine was $57 but she had 30 days and would give me the money to write a check, (I’ll worry about that later).
She didn’t call back, so I called her this morning and she told me that she locked herself out of the house, and went in through the broken window she was supposed to have fixed, furthermore she was surprised she woke up. With a heavy sigh I took the bait and she was depressed she had no smokes, treats for the cat, no money, and no Klonopin. I told her I can help with everything but the cash and then she told me it didn’t matter because she wanted to kill herself, and that she took a bunch of Benadryl last night and was going to take more. She wanted me to mail a letter to her dad, and to take care of the cat, told her I wasn’t going to take any smokes or anything to a dead person and she again reiterated it didn’t matter and to take care of the cat.
I called an hour ago and she didn’t answer, but when she is at wits end and has Benadryl she often takes 5-6 and sleeps it off, and I will try every hour before I go home get the meds she wants (we have the same prescription, but mine is for restless leg syndrome) I suppose you may be wondering why I don’t rush over there but after 20 years, I know it is a ploy for cash, and tonight I dread going over there. My situation eats up every moment. If they had not changed the cat policy I would still be at my old place and when I was there I pretty much ignored her as she didn’t need me then. Her dad would take her 50.00 a day and buy her food with her food stamp card. I was out of the loop except for a request for a hamburger from McDonalds and the change from a Ten.
She answers and sounds morose but would like some cokes along with the other stuff. So I get the cokes, smokes, meds and……
A brief interlude

One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.
Over hill and highway the banana buggies go
Coming on to bring you the Banana Splits show
Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la

Four banana, three banana, two bananas, one
All bananas playing in the bright warm sun,
Flipping like a pancake, popping like a cork,
Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and, Snork

Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone

Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la

(background singer - La-----aaah!)

Two Banana, four banana, one banana, three
Swinging like a bunch of monkeys hanging from a tree
Hey there everybody won't you come along and see
How much like Banana Splits everyone can be

Making up a mess of fun, Making up a mess of fun
Lots of fun for everyone

Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la
Tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la

The DA got jumped, and the gal then jumped her accused her of disrespecting her house, ans she had a ring that left 3 stitches. But she got some Percocet, and that is always a plus.
Later the DA calls and says she almost got arrested because she was on he sidewalk in front of a hotel she has been banned from, she was cuffed and placed in the back of the squad car. They could not find the paperwork, so they let her go.
She praises God for watching over her, and I reminder her that I warned her that even if she stays on the sidewalk, the owner will call the police and she will be arrested. She kept saying “ I was on the sidewalk” and I kept saying “don’t matter” she screamed at me “you don’t care” and reminded she needs $2 and 5 packs of smokes by Tuesday.
Almost funny