Friday, December 28, 2007

Tis a Friday and I have no one to talk to

It’s a Friday afternoon and it is cold outside and I am torn between buying a nip or two and smokes. I should no smoke, as it is bad for me. I am paying 60.00 a month so I lose the cravings. The end of the year is up there is something about starting anew. I smoke until the end of the year, and I have an end point. I quit now and I have an end point. My latest idea for science is to get a military haircut and se how long it takes to grow 4 inches. Juvenile you say? As I reach he zenith of my professional life I find that I have neither the ability nor the inclination to progress my self further, attempts at motivation, whether is be by the self or newly promoted almost invite contempt at my discretion, valor has no place among the cowardly, but is the essence of shelter until retirement achieved outweighs a life let lost, but spirits imbibed.

Motivation must be more than a few words, mocked outwardly but admired inwards. Where is the rope to attach, the hook to grapple, the ladder to climb? I could say It lies within, a lie indeed. The sun sets at dusk, the lips meet bottle soon after. I see the loss of the will, the cards of well meaning providing.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

End of the year

He end of the year is approaching and tomorrow is the last scheduled day I have to work until the 2nt I may have to put in some time this weekend to get ready for the onslaught of expectations before the audit due date of the 15th. A coworker left for greener pastures today and before he left he was called in for what I thought was an exit interview but one of the big cheeses asking for an explanation on the most basic of reconciliations. Such is life at ***. I’m watching ID4 and watching the cat out of the corner of my eye preparing FOR ATTACK, ( which he just did) I remember ing watching ID4 when it came out at an old big theater, which no longer exists, it was very exciting at the time. The movie looks a little hokie but it is still fun to watch and I can forget the plot holes. But time for the news because I left work the fire alarm went off, (I didn’t hear it, but I got a phone call to see if it made the news, .it hasn’t so back to work)

The climatic scene is happening and the comic relief inside the alien mother ship. I’ve just realized that this has extra scenes, which bum me out because they should title the movie as having deleted scenes. The dialog is really bad at the end, but its an old movie. 11-12 years ago. Exercise over.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Elements of frustration

I admit I am not an easy person to deal with; this is more prevalent the longer I’ve known you and the nature of the dispute. Today I took Gf for her x-mas haircut, and today was the last day to do it before the end of the year. I have been trying for two weeks to get her to do it, but she wasn’t ready, (she was metaphorically high). Today she was mentally prepared and was in between activities. She got her haircut and despite my warning not to ask for shampoo, she did. She asked in a manner in front of the stylist that made me look like an ass for saying no. She then said” put it on the credit card” and to give a big tip.

She was girlishly happy, I should have let it go, but she has a LONG history of upping the ante, if you promise to take her shopping for a case of coke, she tried for two cases and waits until we’re in the store to do it. Her PU calls it hustling, and most of it can be explained to her SA. She has no progressed mentally from 17, and it is infuriating.

I agree to the shampoo, and then she said she needed the conditioner. I told her it would be cheaper to go to wallgreens. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to make a scene. I paid for it and we left. I expressed my displeasure and she went into her usual stanza of ‘”don’t ruin a nice thing” In the span of a 5 minute car ride, I reminded her of how ugly she feels, I rin any good feelings she has, how cheap I am (which she corrects when she remembers how much I do for her) and I’ve ruined Christmas. I think she will take the items back and continue her SA tonight. It will be my fault. I don’t think it helped when I told her to “fuck off’, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of planning to spend time with her and once she gets what she wants, she is too tired to see me.

God bless us everyone.