Stuck in a Laundrymat while my baby gets high

In the interest of being fair I have to admit that I support the legalization of drugs, all drugs, second of all if I had behaved like a responsible adult I wouldn’t be in my financial mess, and If I had had a diet like an adult and not a 19 yr old I would not be 150 pounds over weight, I would not be a member of the diabetic club, I would not have the vast mistrust of anything and everything,, I would have stopped drinking like a published author, I would have written the 1000 words a day like I wanted to, and would have been published, I would have had a better sense of my awareness, I would have ascribed to a higher calling, a purpose I would have risen to meet the demands of what was needed, I could have helped mankind, written the great American novel that would have brought JD Salinger out of retirement to release the other novels that either would have cemented his name among the very greats, or as I suspect nothing matched his masterpiece.,

I started this when my gf (1) was awaiting word on how much time she would have to serve, she was given a 3 yr sentence for what amounts to 10 worth of cocaine, sounds outrageous but her drug habits have resulted in a long rap sheet one of which is serious (2) , she ended up getting 48 hrs in jail and was ordered to report the next morning, so naturally she used right up until she got a ride down there, I made good use of the time there by drinking Friday-Saturday and smoking two packs of cheap cigarettes that GF has left on the couch, went over two years without, but the hacking this morning should be enough to keep me away (3)

So she gets out this morning and I remind her she needs to get laundry done and shopping, and she announces she needs a coke and cheeseburger-fry right away and she cries into my shoulder that she has learned her lesion, but feels sick, she takes a nap, we got to the store, and I forget something and when I get back she needs 5 bucks for pills , the food is still on the shelf and she starts screaming at me to leave her alone, SO I retreat into my haven, and I hear her say she has 50 bucks and I see her dealer drive up, (he doesn’t see me) and I know she is lying but I don’t want to ruin her buzz so I get my laundry, drive the 5 miles to my old neighborhood, put in 55 lbs of laundry in a super washer, and end up surrounded by 8 college students doing 1-2 loads all circling looking for a dryer and checking out the other students. God I wish I had gone away to college, but it would have been worse to be kicked out of a college in a strange town, saying good bye to new friends and transferring to the local college sans scholarship, maybe I get a state job let them pay for college and I’m retired by now, banging some coed as I would be pursuing my masters in Chicano studies as I became the Angry Brown man getting White young coed’s to feel guilty about keeping the brown man down. As It is I just hope GF doesn’t use too much and blows her next UA and does two weeks followed bu a third strike and doing a year out of town by then I would be in a happy place and pay off enough that me and kitty can find a little house to rent and we can hide from the crack smoking loud woman who has fried her pleasure centers



(1) I sound like an idiot calling someone who I care very much about my gf, I shold say lover, but since her habits are not contuctive to a healthy relationship, there is little of that, but I don’t know what else to say
(2) She robbed a pizza place of $40.00, she robbed it on the day the police department and the National Air Guard were having a toys for tot’s party, and she robbed it as the chief of police was coming up on a sleigh wearing a Santa hat, she didn’t notice all the police in the parking lot, or all the men in uniform, if she had don’t this now she would have made stupid criminal of the year, naturally it made it to TV and she has been 86’ed by some of her family and my mom
(3) I’ve often wondered if a long streak is good for you, if the time that passes adds to the pressure, I’ve been to several AA meetings and other than it is a good place to pick up chicks with low self esteem, I notice that they say “one day at a time” but give out chips for 30, days, 60 days, etc