My folks left on Aug 1 for a trip and I stopped by to get the mail and feed the feral mama kitty and the inside Cat, and the Feral mama cat didn’t run and watched me refill the food and top off the water dish. I am always fascinated by watching animals eat and drink water, I don’t know why, it is a moment of tranquility in which they exist a fragile moment of the existence of conscience which end with the slightest of movement or strange noise. I watched him eat for 4 days after which he would lie on the concrete or lawn chair and I would leave. She was a no show Thursday but the dish was empty, I filled it to the brim, Friday no kitty, Saturday no Kitty and I asked my sister if she had fed the kitty and she said she had not seen the black one but had seen the gray Feral kitty eating. Today I stopped by and there was a little food in the dish but no mama feral kitty. Feral cats have a very short life, but since this one didn’t have to cross the street and had several places to hid and sleep in the area I thought it would have up to 5 years of existence and I felt a spiritual connection to it, I don’t know why, I suppose because it would be nice to have two cats so my current Lord of the Estate would have a companion, but my lord has indicated that this will not happen. The mama cat feral will probably show up once she hears my mom’s voice, but if she joined the universe, then it is fate, and for what ever it is worth she brought joy into my parents life, my life and the kitties brought a warm feeling to whom ever held them. I feel sadness not so much for the cat mama feral, because we never really had a connection, but because I am taking a much needed vacation and My kitty will be staying at a kitty hotel which will cost as much as the rental car because how do I justify not getting the absolute best accommodations for kitty including a kitty connection where I can call Kitty and they will hold the phone up to the kitty so he can hear my voice, which 3 years ago I would have said are you F#$%ing kidding me, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of, but now I have a guilt complex, I considered getting a nice room and driving and taking the cat with me , but if for some reason the cat escaped and got loose I would be suicidal. So Kitty hotel, extra TLC care, pet insurance, outside shots for an inside cat, I’m down like 500.00, 275 for the rental car to go exploring , 500.00 for the train (I’m a romantic at heart) to san diego. A big trip to see how my sister and niece lives, I’m stressed because I will miss some of the goals I set for work, and I wasted the last three weeks doing nothing when I could have cleaned the apt, finished moving from 18 months ago, I need to finish photographing my stuff so the rental insurance I bought will cover, ( I expect the worst in life), I’ve packed my daily stuff and I am too paranoid to use the big bag because I am afraid Amtrak will lose it because I have to switch to a commuter train in LA so I have three bags including my laptop to cram enough stuff for 7 days plus the C-pap machine, and I am freaking that something will go wrong at both ends like a apt fire which destroys everything I own insurance or no insurance and an earthquake will destroy California as the train pulls into LA. Never mind I get weirded out by the number of unemployed I see, the homeless begging for change to use for food, shelter, and drugs, the total psychos I see on TV convinced that a health care program will turn us into communists, make Soylent Green a reality, and see strange looking people on TV screaming that their country is going down hill never mind they are likely on SSI which is a socialist program
I really need this vacation
just after coming home from the clinic
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